Thursday 16 May 2013

17. Nobody's Perfect - Part Two


*Thanku all so much for the comments, I know it's been a while, I'm not sure if anyone still reads this but I hope it's alright! :) Also, you may be confused when you start reading but you'll understand as you read. Annnnd I'm completely hopeless at writing mature scenes lol so I was gonna get someone else to write it but I did it all the other times and nobody seemed to say anything bad so I did it myself in this one too XD but really though, let me know if it's terrible I do not mind. If you let me know I can get someone else to write it for next time :)*



The sterile air around her was strong as she sat and waited. The room was still silent. The three of them refusing to talk in fear of upsetting another. It didn't help that Drake was sat on the other side of the room, too afraid to be seen with her. Couldn't he see that she needed reassurance right now? Sandi could, hence the reason she was sat as close to her as possible and caressing her back comfortingly.

"I'll go grab us a drink and see if there's any news." She smiled weakly and left the family waiting room. Nicki figured she must have pulled a face at Drake because as soon as she was gone he exhaled roughly and moved over to her.

"It's gon' be okay, Nic." His hand rested on her leg gently as he spoke.

"Don't." Sliding away from him she pushed his hand off her thigh before wiping at her tears. "Don't tell me it's gonna be okay when you don't even know, Drake."

The silence overcame the room again, her soft sobs relieving the quiet every so often. He didn't know what to say anymore. Honestly, his mind was still trying to come to terms with what had happened.



Earlier that evening

The way her back was arching up off of the bed had him growing more and more aroused. Every movement she made along with every noise that escaped her lips was exciting him. In all fairness it had been a while for him but that didn't make him blind to the fact that he had to be careful here, for more reasons than one. He didn't want to take advantage, so to speak. He wanted her to know that he was prepared to wait and nothing of this sort had to happen on his terms. Having said that, the scene before him was extremely tempting. Keeping his focus on her face he pulled back and moved to lay between her legs, his face level with her bare abdomen as he placed kisses on her skin.

"Aubrey." He ignored her breathy moan as her hands made their way to his head, caressing his short hair whilst he moved his kisses lower and lower. Finally reaching his desired area he pulled his lips away from from her skin, taking a short moment to let his palms wander up. Rubbing and gripping firmly at her hips he pulled another moan from her exasperated body. He was quick to extinguish her anticipation as he resumed his position, face level with her centre and her thighs resting on his shoulders. His hands locked over the top to prevent her from going anywhere. He could tell she was getting impatient, this new feeling she was experiencing was both exciting and confusing and he was taking too long marvelling at her body. Randomly throwing her back into a small arch every so often, as he breathed on her spot, was his cue to give her what her body desired.

The instant his lips made contact with her shaved area he couldn't get enough. She tasted so good. Better than any other girl he'd had, without a shadow of a doubt. Not sparing a moment to think on that he tightened his hold on her, he could feel her pulling away whilst he continued to eat her out. He could tell she was enjoying the way he licked, nipped and sucked at her sensitive flesh. The moans she was emitting were harmonious to him and the way she rolled against his tongue desperately whilst panting out his name with her eyes shut tight was an added bonus. His sole focus at this point was to guide her to climax and help her cum. Feeling her long nails raking through his curls against his scalp let him know she was growing closer to the edge.

"Oooh my God, Aubrey I-" Her own groan cut her sentence short as she moved her hips even faster against his  mouth, his tongue venturing all the right places. He was forced to loosen his grip when he felt her thighs shaking and her hands gripping more firmly at his head. "Aubrey!" Squeezing her eyes even more tightly shut she let her hips buck even faster against his face, the overwhelming pleasure expelled from her body through short, high-pitched moans as she came. Her orgasm refused to cease whilst she lay in a state of pure ecstasy, her body still convulsing with pleasure. Drake sat back and watched her ride it out, her  legs still quivering and her chest heaving.

"Damn, Nicki."

"Mmmm." She licked her lips slowly before opening her eyes and looking to him lazily. He was sat up, still resting between her raised and parted knees, her feet planted on either side of where he sat. She could feel his hands running along the length of her thighs gently.

"You taste so good." He smirked and lowered himself over her, placing a kiss between her breasts before moving up to her mouth and doing the same again. "I love you."

"Do you?"

"More than anything."

"Enough to carry me to the tub?" She slung her arms around his neck as he'd buried his face into hers, his voice muffled.

"There and back." 

"I love you too." 

Scooping her up once he'd got to his feet, he carried her to the bathroom and set her down. Shutting the door behind himself.  "Didn't you just shower?"

"I need to get clean again, thanks to you." Flashing a small smirk his way she grabbed some fresh towels as he filled the tub. In all honesty, she felt like what just happened wiped away any insecurities and doubts she had. It sounded ridiculous and maybe it was even induced from her sexual high, but that didn't change the fact that Drake's tongue game had made her feel the best she had in ages. Although she enjoyed it, she was extremely thankful that it didn't transpire into anything else. No matter how much she tried to persuade herself otherwise, she knew she wasn't ready for that. Not for a long time. Her prior experience concerning sex was far too scarring, the wounds too fresh and the memories beyond unnerving.

"That feel warm enough?" He swished his hand through the water and turned the tap off before looking up at her as she mimicked his action.

"That's perfect." She smiled down at him. "Are you getting in with me?"

"No, you enjoy it. I'mma take a shower later." Holding his hand out he helped her in before taking a seat on the floor, his back leaning against the side of the tub.

"Could you pass me the soap?" She smiled sweetly, her body covered with bubbles.

"The pink one?"

"Yeah."

Grabbing it from the side of the sink he handed it to her an sat again, his head turned to he could watch her.

"Listen, Nicki there's somethin' I been meanin' to talk to you 'bout."

"Yeah? What is it?" She didn't look at him and continued to study the bar of soap as she smoothed it up and down her arms.

"I'm being considered for a promotion at work."

"Aubrey, that's great!" She smiled widely, showing her genuine happiness and pride for his achievement. "I mean, it's crazy that they're only now noticing how great you are. But I'm so happy for you, babe. You deserve it." 

Dropping the soap bar, she leant on the side of the tube with her arms and kissed the back of his head. But something was throwing her off. Why wasn't he excited?

"Hey, what's up? Aren't you happy?"

"Not reallly." He sighed miserably and let his head rest back. "There's a dinner I have to attend. With my partner but I-"

"You can't take me." He could hear the defeat in her voice as she sighed but at the same time she wrapped her sodden, bubbly arms around his neck lovingly. "I understand. You do what you gotta do." 

She really did mean what she was saying, but the heart-wrenching feeling rippling through her was hard to ignore, no matter how easy it was to mask it would always be there. How long would this last if she was just something for him to come home to? Not being a material part of his life was really eating at her. She wanted to be in his life, not a kind of side dish that came with it.

"You're really okay with not goin'?" He reached up and rubbed her arms softly as they still lay around his neck.

Her mind was screaming and yelling 'no' but this was his career they were talking about. Everything he'd being working towards and she desperately didn't want to stand in his way.

"Positive. I'm so proud of you." Leaning forward over the side of the bath, she kissed his temple before settling back into the tub. Drake felt awful but she seemed to be okay with it, so a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders instantly.

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me." She smiled once again and watched him stand.

"I'mma go see how Aubbie is-" Before he could finish, a knock at the door interrupted him. It was Sandi.

"Aubrey? Are you in there?"

He stared down at Nicki momentarily. "I'll go see what she wants." Giving her another small smile he left her to enjoy the bath water some more, shutting the door behind him before moving to the hallway where his Mother was stood waiting.

"Oh, there you are." She handed him a warm bottle. "Auburn's sleeping but she didn't finish her feed. I can't keep my eyes open any longer!"

"Thanks, I'll sort her when she wakes up. You go to bed, thanks for watchin' her."

"No problem." She smiled sweetly and headed up to her room after saying goodnight.

Reaching the living room, Drake smiled seeing Auburn's tiny body sleeping soundly in her bassinet. He really couldn't have been any happier, that's when he realised that having Nicki enter his life was more than a blessing. She'd given him a reason to live. Setting the almost empt bottle down he groaned realised that was the last bottle of expressed milk. Luckily she was still sleeping and Nicki could feed her once she was done bathing. He took a seat next to her and let his hand drop into the basket, stroking her small hand gently. The content smile on his face vanished quickly. She was cold to touch and he began to panic before noticing that her chest was still and her lips were a light shade of blue. She wasn't breathing.




***




Hearing the door open they both looked up expecting it to be Sandi. Noticing it was in fact Auburn's doctor, Drake stood up and moved away quickly leaving Nicki to stand alone, silently praying her baby was okay.

"Dr Graham?" He looked taken aback. "I thought you were on leave? What are you doing here?"

"Yeah, yeah I am." He rubbed his hands nervously. "Nicki's a friend of mine, she called me as soon as she got here." Looking back at an extremely unimpressed Nicki he cleared his throat and returned eye contact with the doctor. "So? What's the news? She's gonna be okay, right?" The doctor looked to Nicki straight away. She was beside herself with worry, it didn't take a genius to notice that.

"You're lucky you got to us when you did, Miss Maraj. Any later and your daughter would have been another crib death statistic." Taking a deep breath he put them both out of their misery. "But yes, Auburn is going to be fine. We're going to keep her in overnight to monitor her but she should be well enough to return home tomorrow."

"Can we see her?" The words only just made it out as she stammered on her tears.

"Of course but you should probably try and get some rest too, we'll fill you in with more details in the morning." He gave her an assuring smile and looked at Drake weirdly before leaving. 

"See? I told you everything would be okay." He spoke quietly and moved over to her but she flinched away tearfully.

"I can't do this anymore."

"What?"

"This, Aubrey! Us! I can't do it." Sitting down quickly she let her head rest in her hands. The built up emotions finally coming to light.

"Look, you're just upset and-"

"Stop telling what I am and am not feeling!" Her raised voice silenced him immediately. "I'm not gon' carry on bein' the part of your life that you're afraid to commit to!"

"I'm not afraid to commit to you, Onika. This is my job, my career, that is at stake here." His tone of voice emphasised the seriousness of the situation. "I'm datin' an underaged ex-patient!"

"You think I don't fuckin' know that already? I'm not stupid, Drake."

"Oh, so it's Drake now?" He looked at her angrily. "And I don't think you're stupid."

"I don't have time for this. Just, go home before someone sees you with me." Shaking her head she sniffled and placed her head back in her hands.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Fine, then I'll go." She stood up and attempted to get past him but he grabbed her wrist firmly. Her breath instantly caught in her throat.

"I'ont know what else you want me to do, Nicki! Tell me! Please, 'cause I have no fuckin' clue with you!"

"I want to be part of your life, Aubrey."

"And you're not already?" His brow wrinkled with confusion, loosening his hold on her after noticing how scared she looked.

"How can I be?" Softening her voice she let more tears fall. "You hide me away all the time." He tried to interrupt but she stopped him and lay her hand on his cheek. "I don't understand how you think this is working."

"I love you."

"And I love you too, but I can't keep doin' this. It's like you're just keepin' me locked away until I'm an appropriate age for you. What are me and Aubbie supposed to do in that space of time?"

"Stay with me. I don't see what's botherin' you so much."

"I'm not about to spend the next four or five years of Auburn's life caged up in your house. I can't do it."

"It's not like that though." He paused as an almost visible lightbulb flashed up above his head. "It's about what happened tonight too, isn't it?" Her faced deadened and she removed her hand from his face, avoiding eye contact.

"I should have been there with her, then maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"You can't keep thinkin' like that. It's nobody's fault, Nic."

"That's not the point though. My baby could have died and where was I?" Her eyes flickered as more tears stung at her already streaming eyes. "Flat on my fucking back with your face between my thighs, that's where."

"So it's my fault?"

"Aubrey please, I never said that."

"It's what it sounded like to me." He stepped back and stared at her as the silence fell upon them for a while. She broke it moments later when she spoke up.

"Look, maybe this was a good thing? In a really fucked up kinda way, maybe Aubbie bein' here was for a reason." She rolled her sleeves over hands and shrugged. "I'ont think this is gonna work." Her voice had gotten quieter, the obvious sadness showing through her words as she cried.

"You don't mean that."

"Yes, I do." Crossing her arms she looked up at him again, he looked broken-hearted to say the least. "See? There you go again, tellin' me what I feel."

"I don't believe you though. You just told me you loved me, why you feel like this ain't gonna work all of a sudden?"

"Because we're just going in circles! I really do love you and I mean that from the bottom of my heart but I-"

"We can work this out. Runnin' away doesn't solve anythin', Onika." He shook his head in disbelief. "And where would you go anyway?"

"Lani's offer still stands. I can go stay with him."

Pulling away from her roughly he sat down and bounced his knee.

"I can't believe you're just gonna give up on all of this."

"I'm not giving up, Aubrey." Frowning angrily she let her hands drop by her sides. "I wanna focus on Aubbie, I want her to have everythin' I never had. I want to be a good Mother."

"And you can't do that whilst you're with me?" His eyes connected with hers, the same pain reflected. "You think stayin' with your violent brother is gonna give her what you never had?"

"Don't talk about him like that."

"Like what, Nicki? He fuckin' hit you and you're abouta stand there and defend him?!"

"Stop makin' this about somethin' else! I'm talking about you and me here. If there was any way this could work, you know I would take it." Stepping over to him she took a seat next to his hunched frame and took his hand in hers. Surprisingly he didn't pull away from her touch.

"There is a way. There's always a way."

"Like what, Aubrey?" She laughed humourlessly, partly due to the overwhelming fatigue and the fact that she felt this conversation was never going to end.

"We can move to Cananda."

"Oh my God." She sighed and rubbed her forehead frustratedly. "I thought runnin' away solved nothin'?"

"I'm bein' serious, Nic." His voice became more upbeat. His decision finally made. Fuck the promotion, right now the only important thing on his mind was salvaging this relationship. He loved them too much to let them slip away this easily. Especially over something that could be easily fixed.

"Aubrey-"

"Just, stop for a minute." Grabbing her hands he moved so he was face to face with her. She looked drained, the tears still slowly trailing down her tired face. "Think about it, we'd be in a whole new place. Nobody would know us, nobody would know anything. We can start again. You, Auburn and me."

"And you really think that'll work?" Her face remained doubtful as she whispered but he caught the tiny hint of hope in in her words.

"Do you think it'll work?"

There was a painfully long silence as she pondered his suggestion. Would it really work?


...


*I haaaate this chapter :| But thanks for reading and I'm sorry if it dragged on :// Hope it was alright for you guys! I Don't like asking but again, since I'm back at uni I will very kindly ask for 10 comments before I continue pleaseee? I won't leave it as long next time...Or I'll try not too lol*