18. Memory Lane

*Thanku so much for the previous comments guys ^.^ I really hope this is okay for you!*

He wiped his brow tiredly and sat down on the couch. Things were transpiring quickly with the move. The whole of the lounge room was filled with boxes as he attempted to start packing. He'd already got most of it done, it was just bits and pieces left to sort along with the transportation of their furniture. He couldn't be more thankful that Nicki agreed to this. Her thinking was that she had nothing to lose by saying yes and everything to gain. Things had understandably been a little off between them but he couldn't blame her with everything that had happened to Auburn. She'd been released from hospital almost three days ago and nothing seemed to have gone wrong yet. They were given a sort of monitor that would alarm them if Aubbie's breathing ever ceased whilst she was sleeping and that eased Nicki's mind considerably. She'd hardly put her down since she'd been discharged. Looking over at them he couldn't help but smile. That's when another issue crossed his mind.

"Oh yeah, that's somethin' else we gotta think about."

"What's that?" She kept her eyes on Auburn and waited for him to answer.

"We should prolly start checkin' out the different schools, see which one suits you most."

"Okay."

He frowned. "Okay? Is that it?"

"Well whattya want me to say, Aubrey?" She looked over at him annoyed.

"I just figured you'd be a lil' more enthusiastic. That's all."

"Well, I'm sorry I ain't jump up with excitement."

"What's with you today? You been actin' like a spoilt brat all mornin'." He shook his head.

"Maybe I don't wanna go back to school." She shrugged and returned her focus back to her baby as he squinted, trying to make sure he'd heard her right.

"Where's all this comin' from?"

"It's not comin' from anywhere. I been thinkin' about it for a while now actually."

"You never said anythin' to me." Standing up he moved over and sat on the same couch as her.

"That's 'cause you never asked." She looked directly at him, the anger had disappeared already. "You just assumed that's what I wanted to do."

"And it's not?"

"Not right now."

"You wanna stay home with Auburn." He sighed with the realisation the he was right.

"Are you mad?"

"No, of course I'm not mad. She's your baby and I understand you wanna spend time with her."

"But?" She knew it was coming.

"I just don't want you to regret anythin'."

"I know that if I go to school and miss out on all these priceless moments with Auburn I'm gonna regret it." She shifted her tiny body in her arms. "School isn't goin' anywhere, I can return to my education when Aubbie's older."

"Does this have anythin' to do with your grades?" His voice was softer as he moved closer to her. It was like he'd read her mind. She hated that.

"Look, I just don't see the point wasting my time there if I'm not gettin' the grades I know I can achieve. It's just too much on my plate right now."

"I'm not gonna act like your Father and force you to go but I'ont think you should make any rushed decisions just yet." He threw his arm around her gently and pulled her into him, being careful not to disturb Auburn. "Give it some time and some more thought first."

"Okay, but it's gon' be the same answer." She smiled as she looked down. Her stubbornness was surely going to be interesting for him as time went by.

***

After locking up the garage, Drake made his way inside as quitely as he could. It wasn't deathly early in the morning but he knew Auburn and Nicki were still alseep. He'd been to drop Sandi off at the airport. Her time with them had come to an end but she'd be seeing them again soon when they made the move official though. After locking up he made his way to their bedroom and shut the door behind himself.

"Did she get away okay?" Her small voice made him jump.

"Yeah, everythin' was fine. Why you awake this so early?" He removed his clothes and climbed under the sheets again, the moment he did so he could feel her moving backwards towards him. Only stopping when his chest was firmly pressed against her back and his free arm laying across her side.

"I can't get back sleep."

"What's botherin' you?" He pressed his lips on to the skin visible in the crook of her neck but she still remained silent. "Talk to me, Nic. What's up?"

"I have to go back to my old house today." She wanted to stay facing the way she was. She always found it easier to talk to someone when she wasn't looking directly at them. But Drake was different. His face made her feel more relaxed. More secure than she had in a long time. Slowly shifting in his hold she managed to rotate herself to be chest to chest with him. "It's nothin' bad. It's just a few things I need to go pick up."

"And you're worried about it?"

"I don't know." Her eyes flickered slightly. "I don't know what I feel right now, or what I should feel."

"I can go with you if you're scared?"

"No. This is somethin' I need to do on my own." She nodded to herself and looked down. "I'll take my phone though and if I need you I'll call."

"Make sure you do." He spoke sternly before kissing her forehead. "You want me to drop you off?"

"I can take the subway."

"You sure?" He questioned.

"Yeah, it'll give me some time to think on the way." She finished speaking and snuggled into him some more. "I don't wanna get up. It's too cold." Her voice was muffled as she spoke into his chest.

"You're gon' love Canada then."

She laughed into his skin before returning back to eye contact. "Are you nervous about today?"

"Not really. I know it's been approachin', I just hope it all goes well. No drama." He was referring to handing his notice in at work. He knew his boss would have something to say but he didn't want Nicki to feel guilty about any of this. It was what he wanted to do.

"You'll be fine." She rubbed his cheek and kissed him slowly before getting out of the bed. "What time are you headin' out?"

"Later today, why?" He yawned as he spoke.

"I just wanna be back in time before you go. Otherwise, who's gon' watch Aubbie?" Her voice disappeared into the bathroom as she talked.

"Oh yeah, I keep forgettin' my Mom's not here anymore." Throwing his arms up under his head he exhaled slowly and relaxed back into the pillow. "I'll just leave whenever you get back."

"Hopefully I can be in and out within an hour." She moved to stand in the bathroom doorway, her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth.

"You reckon your Dad'll be home?"

"I don't know. I hope not." Her sentence was cut short when Auburn started to fuss in her moses basket.

"It's a'ight. I got it." He slid out of the bed. "You go shower, we'll be fine."

"Thanks."

"You express any milk yesterday?"

She nodded and pulled her toothbrush out to spit. "Yeah, it's in the refrigerator."

"Oh good." He smiled down at her sweet little face. "Hear that Aubbie? Breakfast is all done and ready to go. Well, for you it is anyway." He carried on talking to her as he lifted her out, completely unaware that Nicki was watching him admiringly. He was so good with her. Almost as if Auburn was actually his. She wished she was but the bitter memories would always be with her. Every time she looked at her baby she could see Tyrone's face. Hopefully that's another thing the move to Canada would help to heal.

"We'll see Mommy when she's done showering." Cradling her in his strong arms he headed out of the room. His voice still audible until he was too far away to hear.

***

She could feel her nerves eating at her the whole time she was on the subway. Her mind racing with thoughts. What if her Father was home? She had no idea what she'd even say to him. Or even worse. What he might do. Before her thoughts could get any deeper she was pulled back to reality by her phone. It was Drake.

"You there yet?"

"No, I'm just at my stop now." He could her the fright in her words.

"You'll be fine, call me if you need anythin', okay?"

"I will, I promise. How's Aubbie?"

"She's fine, sleepin' like a log. We're watchin' the game." He laughed and checked on her as she napped.

"Why you puttin' her to sleep watchin' basketball, Aubrey?"

"She loves it."

"She loves it? Or you love it?" She smiled into the phone.

"Alright, it was a compromise. She gets to pick next time."

"Torturin' my poor baby." She laughed. "Look I gotta go, I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, we Love you."

"I love you both too." Every time she said those words she couldn't prevent the smile from spreading across her face. Hearing him say it made her smile even harder. Bringing her attention back to the task ast hand she slid her phone back into her jean pocket and proceeded to get off at her stop.

The sights she was seeing along with the smells and sounds were bringing back all kinds of memories. Some good and some bad. Most of them were horrific if she was being perfectly honest but she kept her head down and walked fast to get to her house quicker. The less time she spent on the street, the safer she'd be. Her house could have been picked out by her eyes from miles away. It was strange to think that all of her childhood memories lived behind those four walls. She kept her arms crossed over her chest as she grew nearer, her pace slowing down until she reached a stop. This was it. She was finally going back. Facing her fears. Taking a deep breath she held it in for a second before exhaling calmly. Before she even lay a finger on the gate, a male voice stopped her.

"Nicki?"

She turned in his direction and froze. "Safaree? Oh my God."

"Yeah, it's been a while since I seen you." He smiled as he dumped the bin bag into the trash can. "How you been?"

"Good, really good actually." She smiled back at him and approached the fence. "How about you?"

"I can't really complain" His hands became buried in his pockets. "I ain't seen you since I picked you up from the hospital that time, everythin' okay there?"

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that." She looked down briefly. "I'm good though. I moved out shortly after that."

"I figured. I really missed seein' your face around here y'know?"

"I'm sure you did." Rolling her eyes playfully she smiled again and looked up at him.

"Forreal, I wouldn't lie to you." He folded his lips before becoming more solemn. "Y'know, I'm real sorry to hear about your old man, I can't even-"

"Excuse me?"

"Your Dad, I'm sorry to hear 'bout what happened to him."

"Yeah I heard that part." She looked up at her house with concern. "I just didn't know what you meant.  What's happened to my Dad?"

"You mean no one told you?"

"Told me what, SB? I don't know what you're talkin' about." Although her feelings towards her Father were still very much the same, she was still concerned as to what had happened.

"I'ont know the full story but he's in a nursin' home."

"A nursing home?" Her face  portrayed only utter shock.

"Yeah, you'll have to ask the new house owners what exactly happened, but I'm sure that's what I heard."

"Oh my God." She finally shut her gaping mouth and stared at the house again. "Thanks, I'll go talk to them now."

"A'ight, well make sure you check in with me more often. It was good to see you again." He nodded and smiled that smile as he walked backwards away from her.

"I will, and same to you too." Flashing her dimples briefly she watched him disappear back inside before making her way cautiously towards the front door. Not much had changed, the outside of the house still looked pretty much the same to be honest. Taking yet another deep breath she knocked three times and stepped away in preparation for someone to open. She could definitely hear voices, they sounded like children. Without warning the door opened quickly and a young dark-haired woman was stood before her.

"I'm sorry, whatever it is you're selling, I'm not interested." She was about to shut the door but Nicki's voice halted her.

"No, wait! I'm not selling anything, I used to live here."

"Oh, you're that man's daughter? Nicola?"

"Nicki, actually." She smiled anxiously. "But yeah, I'm Robert's daughter."

"I'm sorry, I should've recognised you from the photos." She shook her head regretfully.

"Photos?"

"Yeah, look, I think maybe you should come in." Holding the door open wide, she stepped aside and let a rather confused Nicki enter the house. It was a lot warmer than she remembered and it smelled nice too. "Don't worry about your shoes, havin' three kids tramplin' 'round is bound to ruin the carpets anyway." She ruffled one of the boy's hair as she led her through to the kitchen. "You want a drink or anythin'?"

"No I'm fine, thank you. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Oh, I'm Julie." She reached her hand out and shook Nicki's sweetly. "I'm guessin' you're lookin' for your Father?"

"Actually, no." Looking down shamefully she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I came to pick up my things but I'm guessin' he prolly shopped it all." She shook her head angrily. He'd sell anything to fund his habit. Even his own daughter. She knew that for fact.

"No, your stuff is still here."

"Really?" She looked up with a surprised expression.

"Yeah, that was part of the deal I guess." She leant back on the counter. Rolling her eyes when the children started fighting. They were cute kids. Dark skin with course curly hair and big eyes.

"Deal?"

"See, your Father was a good friend of my husband's and when he was taken into the home for the elderly we got the house. Without sounding heartless, it came at a good time for us." Resting her hand on her waist, Nicki became aware of the small bump under her shirt.

"And y'all got to keep my things?"

"No, he made us promise not to lay a hand on any of your belongings. Your room is off limits, we keep it padlocked anyway so the kids can't get in a cause a riot." Reaching up on top of the cabinet she pulled a small key down. Luckily she was fairly tall and didn't need much assistance.

Her mind was reeling. Why would her Father care so much about her belongings? He didn't give two shits about her whilst she was living here let alone when she wasn't. None of this was adding up to her.

"I can show you up if you want, if not I'm guessing you know your way around anyway." Laughing lightly she placed the key in Nicki's small hand just as the youngest child, a girl, start crying. "Please excuse me."

"Yeah, sure. I can find my own way there, thanks."

The journey to her room was more daunting than she'd actually thought it would be. Every creak in the stairs was the same, the hand-railing still chipped in all the same places and there it was. Her name carved gently into the wood. She can't even remember how old she was when she did it but it was still there. Running her fingers over it softly she smiled and shook her head. Now wasn't the time to be getting all sentimental. Quickening her pace she reached the top of the stairs and came to a halt. This very hallway was the one Tyrone had followed her down, all the way from the bathroom and into her room. Swallowing hard she took the first step and began making her way to the door. It still had her name in pink wooden letters on it. They were old and dirty but they still stuck strong. Growing more and more impatient with her shaking hands she pried the padlock open after unlocking it and opened her door slowly. Everything was still exactly how she'd left it. Absolutely nothing had been touched. Her pen and paper still strewn messily across her desk. Her stuffed animals still in perfect alignment on her bed. Call her stupid but she could feel herself filling up.

Inching in slowly, she left the door open and sat gently on the edge of her bed. It was like she'd never left but in reality so much had changed. She'd grown up more than she had to, that's for sure. Obviously she was only sixteen but another human life was dependent on her now. She had no choice but to grow up. It got too much in the end. She let her guard down and cried for what felt like ages as she lay on her old bed. If it wasn't for the front door opening she would have drifted off to sleep. Slowly sitting up, she rubbed at her pouding skull and stood before pulling the duffle out from under her bed. She just wanted her essentials but found herself trying to ram all her stuffed animals in there too. She managed to make everything fit after a good fifteen minutes of searching and packing. Wiping her nose swiftly she stayed hunched over her bed as she zipped the bag violently. She could hear Julie coming and stood up straight when she finally got it shut.

"Okay, I think I'm about done. Thanks for not throwin' out my stuff." She laughed a little to herself before turning around to face a silent Julie in the doorway. Only it wasn't Julie at all. Her mouth went dry instantly as her heart began pounding. The duffle immediately falling to the floor as the shock hit her.

"Nika." There was a painful pause. "Now, there's a face I thought I'd never see again. "


...


*DUN, DUN, DUUUUN. Lol I love cliffhangers :D I have a feeling some of you are gonna try and guess who it is. Haha anywho, I've been struggling so bad with my fics recently so I went back and re-read some of my chapters and realised that I used to have a lot less dialogue and more descriptive paragraphs. Idk what all you guys prefer but when I'm reading I like lots of description as well as dialogue, so I'm trying to get that back into swing with my stories haha let me know how you feel anyway :) Thanks for all the previous comments! And once again, I hate asking, but I'm gonna ask for 10 comments before I post the next chapter, please. Thanks for reading and I hope it was okay :/*

17. Nobody's Perfect - Part Two

*Thanku all so much for the comments, I know it's been a while, I'm not sure if anyone still reads this but I hope it's alright! :) Also, you may be confused when you start reading but you'll understand as you read. Annnnd I'm completely hopeless at writing mature scenes lol so I was gonna get someone else to write it but I did it all the other times and nobody seemed to say anything bad so I did it myself in this one too XD but really though, let me know if it's terrible I do not mind. If you let me know I can get someone else to write it for next time :)*

The sterile air around her was strong as she sat and waited. The room was still silent. The three of them refusing to talk in fear of upsetting another. It didn't help that Drake was sat on the other side of the room, too afraid to be seen with her. Couldn't he see that she needed reassurance right now? Sandi could, hence the reason she was sat as close to her as possible and caressing her back comfortingly.

"I'll go grab us a drink and see if there's any news." She smiled weakly and left the family waiting room. Nicki figured she must have pulled a face at Drake because as soon as she was gone he exhaled roughly and moved over to her.

"It's gon' be okay, Nic." His hand rested on her leg gently as he spoke.

"Don't." Sliding away from him she pushed his hand off her thigh before wiping at her tears. "Don't tell me it's gonna be okay when you don't even know, Drake."

The silence overcame the room again, her soft sobs relieving the quiet every so often. He didn't know what to say anymore. Honestly, his mind was still trying to come to terms with what had happened.

Earlier that evening

The way her back was arching up off of the bed had him growing more and more aroused. Every movement she made along with every noise that escaped her lips was exciting him. In all fairness it had been a while for him but that didn't make him blind to the fact that he had to be careful here, for more reasons than one. He didn't want to take advantage, so to speak. He wanted her to know that he was prepared to wait and nothing of this sort had to happen on his terms. Having said that, the scene before him was extremely tempting. Keeping his focus on her face he pulled back and moved to lay between her legs, his face level with her bare abdomen as he placed kisses on her skin.

"Aubrey." He ignored her breathy moan as her hands made their way to his head, caressing his short hair whilst he moved his kisses lower and lower. Finally reaching his desired area he pulled his lips away from from her skin, taking a short moment to let his palms wander up. Rubbing and gripping firmly at her hips he pulled another moan from her exasperated body. He was quick to extinguish her anticipation as he resumed his position, face level with her centre and her thighs resting on his shoulders. His hands locked over the top to prevent her from going anywhere. He could tell she was getting impatient, this new feeling she was experiencing was both exciting and confusing and he was taking too long marvelling at her body. Randomly throwing her back into a small arch every so often, as he breathed on her spot, was his cue to give her what her body desired.

The instant his lips made contact with her shaved area he couldn't get enough. She tasted so good. Better than any other girl he'd had, without a shadow of a doubt. Not sparing a moment to think on that he tightened his hold on her, he could feel her pulling away whilst he continued to eat her out. He could tell she was enjoying the way he licked, nipped and sucked at her sensitive flesh. The moans she was emitting were harmonious to him and the way she rolled against his tongue desperately whilst panting out his name with her eyes shut tight was an added bonus. His sole focus at this point was to guide her to climax and help her cum. Feeling her long nails raking through his curls against his scalp let him know she was growing closer to the edge.

"Oooh my God, Aubrey I-" Her own groan cut her sentence short as she moved her hips even faster against his  mouth, his tongue venturing all the right places. He was forced to loosen his grip when he felt her thighs shaking and her hands gripping more firmly at his head. "Aubrey!" Squeezing her eyes even more tightly shut she let her hips buck even faster against his face, the overwhelming pleasure expelled from her body through short, high-pitched moans as she came. Her orgasm refused to cease whilst she lay in a state of pure ecstasy, her body still convulsing with pleasure. Drake sat back and watched her ride it out, her  legs still quivering and her chest heaving.

"Damn, Nicki."

"Mmmm." She licked her lips slowly before opening her eyes and looking to him lazily. He was sat up, still resting between her raised and parted knees, her feet planted on either side of where he sat. She could feel his hands running along the length of her thighs gently.

"You taste so good." He smirked and lowered himself over her, placing a kiss between her breasts before moving up to her mouth and doing the same again. "I love you."

"Do you?"

"More than anything."

"Enough to carry me to the tub?" She slung her arms around his neck as he'd buried his face into hers, his voice muffled.

"There and back." 

"I love you too." 

Scooping her up once he'd got to his feet, he carried her to the bathroom and set her down. Shutting the door behind himself.  "Didn't you just shower?"

"I need to get clean again, thanks to you." Flashing a small smirk his way she grabbed some fresh towels as he filled the tub. In all honesty, she felt like what just happened wiped away any insecurities and doubts she had. It sounded ridiculous and maybe it was even induced from her sexual high, but that didn't change the fact that Drake's tongue game had made her feel the best she had in ages. Although she enjoyed it, she was extremely thankful that it didn't transpire into anything else. No matter how much she tried to persuade herself otherwise, she knew she wasn't ready for that. Not for a long time. Her prior experience concerning sex was far too scarring, the wounds too fresh and the memories beyond unnerving.

"That feel warm enough?" He swished his hand through the water and turned the tap off before looking up at her as she mimicked his action.

"That's perfect." She smiled down at him. "Are you getting in with me?"

"No, you enjoy it. I'mma take a shower later." Holding his hand out he helped her in before taking a seat on the floor, his back leaning against the side of the tub.

"Could you pass me the soap?" She smiled sweetly, her body covered with bubbles.

"The pink one?"

"Yeah."

Grabbing it from the side of the sink he handed it to her an sat again, his head turned to he could watch her.

"Listen, Nicki there's somethin' I been meanin' to talk to you 'bout."

"Yeah? What is it?" She didn't look at him and continued to study the bar of soap as she smoothed it up and down her arms.

"I'm being considered for a promotion at work."

"Aubrey, that's great!" She smiled widely, showing her genuine happiness and pride for his achievement. "I mean, it's crazy that they're only now noticing how great you are. But I'm so happy for you, babe. You deserve it." 

Dropping the soap bar, she leant on the side of the tube with her arms and kissed the back of his head. But something was throwing her off. Why wasn't he excited?

"Hey, what's up? Aren't you happy?"

"Not reallly." He sighed miserably and let his head rest back. "There's a dinner I have to attend. With my partner but I-"

"You can't take me." He could hear the defeat in her voice as she sighed but at the same time she wrapped her sodden, bubbly arms around his neck lovingly. "I understand. You do what you gotta do." 

She really did mean what she was saying, but the heart-wrenching feeling rippling through her was hard to ignore, no matter how easy it was to mask it would always be there. How long would this last if she was just something for him to come home to? Not being a material part of his life was really eating at her. She wanted to be in his life, not a kind of side dish that came with it.

"You're really okay with not goin'?" He reached up and rubbed her arms softly as they still lay around his neck.

Her mind was screaming and yelling 'no' but this was his career they were talking about. Everything he'd being working towards and she desperately didn't want to stand in his way.

"Positive. I'm so proud of you." Leaning forward over the side of the bath, she kissed his temple before settling back into the tub. Drake felt awful but she seemed to be okay with it, so a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders instantly.

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me." She smiled once again and watched him stand.

"I'mma go see how Aubbie is-" Before he could finish, a knock at the door interrupted him. It was Sandi.

"Aubrey? Are you in there?"

He stared down at Nicki momentarily. "I'll go see what she wants." Giving her another small smile he left her to enjoy the bath water some more, shutting the door behind him before moving to the hallway where his Mother was stood waiting.

"Oh, there you are." She handed him a warm bottle. "Auburn's sleeping but she didn't finish her feed. I can't keep my eyes open any longer!"

"Thanks, I'll sort her when she wakes up. You go to bed, thanks for watchin' her."

"No problem." She smiled sweetly and headed up to her room after saying goodnight.

Reaching the living room, Drake smiled seeing Auburn's tiny body sleeping soundly in her bassinet. He really couldn't have been any happier, that's when he realised that having Nicki enter his life was more than a blessing. She'd given him a reason to live. Setting the almost empt bottle down he groaned realised that was the last bottle of expressed milk. Luckily she was still sleeping and Nicki could feed her once she was done bathing. He took a seat next to her and let his hand drop into the basket, stroking her small hand gently. The content smile on his face vanished quickly. She was cold to touch and he began to panic before noticing that her chest was still and her lips were a light shade of blue. She wasn't breathing.

***

Hearing the door open they both looked up expecting it to be Sandi. Noticing it was in fact Auburn's doctor, Drake stood up and moved away quickly leaving Nicki to stand alone, silently praying her baby was okay.

"Dr Graham?" He looked taken aback. "I thought you were on leave? What are you doing here?"

"Yeah, yeah I am." He rubbed his hands nervously. "Nicki's a friend of mine, she called me as soon as she got here." Looking back at an extremely unimpressed Nicki he cleared his throat and returned eye contact with the doctor. "So? What's the news? She's gonna be okay, right?" The doctor looked to Nicki straight away. She was beside herself with worry, it didn't take a genius to notice that.

"You're lucky you got to us when you did, Miss Maraj. Any later and your daughter would have been another crib death statistic." Taking a deep breath he put them both out of their misery. "But yes, Auburn is going to be fine. We're going to keep her in overnight to monitor her but she should be well enough to return home tomorrow."

"Can we see her?" The words only just made it out as she stammered on her tears.

"Of course but you should probably try and get some rest too, we'll fill you in with more details in the morning." He gave her an assuring smile and looked at Drake weirdly before leaving. 

"See? I told you everything would be okay." He spoke quietly and moved over to her but she flinched away tearfully.

"I can't do this anymore."

"What?"

"This, Aubrey! Us! I can't do it." Sitting down quickly she let her head rest in her hands. The built up emotions finally coming to light.

"Look, you're just upset and-"

"Stop telling what I am and am not feeling!" Her raised voice silenced him immediately. "I'm not gon' carry on bein' the part of your life that you're afraid to commit to!"

"I'm not afraid to commit to you, Onika. This is my job, my career, that is at stake here." His tone of voice emphasised the seriousness of the situation. "I'm datin' an underaged ex-patient!"

"You think I don't fuckin' know that already? I'm not stupid, Drake."

"Oh, so it's Drake now?" He looked at her angrily. "And I don't think you're stupid."

"I don't have time for this. Just, go home before someone sees you with me." Shaking her head she sniffled and placed her head back in her hands.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Fine, then I'll go." She stood up and attempted to get past him but he grabbed her wrist firmly. Her breath instantly caught in her throat.

"I'ont know what else you want me to do, Nicki! Tell me! Please, 'cause I have no fuckin' clue with you!"

"I want to be part of your life, Aubrey."

"And you're not already?" His brow wrinkled with confusion, loosening his hold on her after noticing how scared she looked.

"How can I be?" Softening her voice she let more tears fall. "You hide me away all the time." He tried to interrupt but she stopped him and lay her hand on his cheek. "I don't understand how you think this is working."

"I love you."

"And I love you too, but I can't keep doin' this. It's like you're just keepin' me locked away until I'm an appropriate age for you. What are me and Aubbie supposed to do in that space of time?"

"Stay with me. I don't see what's botherin' you so much."

"I'm not about to spend the next four or five years of Auburn's life caged up in your house. I can't do it."

"It's not like that though." He paused as an almost visible lightbulb flashed up above his head. "It's about what happened tonight too, isn't it?" Her faced deadened and she removed her hand from his face, avoiding eye contact.

"I should have been there with her, then maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"You can't keep thinkin' like that. It's nobody's fault, Nic."

"That's not the point though. My baby could have died and where was I?" Her eyes flickered as more tears stung at her already streaming eyes. "Flat on my fucking back with your face between my thighs, that's where."

"So it's my fault?"

"Aubrey please, I never said that."

"It's what it sounded like to me." He stepped back and stared at her as the silence fell upon them for a while. She broke it moments later when she spoke up.

"Look, maybe this was a good thing? In a really fucked up kinda way, maybe Aubbie bein' here was for a reason." She rolled her sleeves over hands and shrugged. "I'ont think this is gonna work." Her voice had gotten quieter, the obvious sadness showing through her words as she cried.

"You don't mean that."

"Yes, I do." Crossing her arms she looked up at him again, he looked broken-hearted to say the least. "See? There you go again, tellin' me what I feel."

"I don't believe you though. You just told me you loved me, why you feel like this ain't gonna work all of a sudden?"

"Because we're just going in circles! I really do love you and I mean that from the bottom of my heart but I-"

"We can work this out. Runnin' away doesn't solve anythin', Onika." He shook his head in disbelief. "And where would you go anyway?"

"Lani's offer still stands. I can go stay with him."

Pulling away from her roughly he sat down and bounced his knee.

"I can't believe you're just gonna give up on all of this."

"I'm not giving up, Aubrey." Frowning angrily she let her hands drop by her sides. "I wanna focus on Aubbie, I want her to have everythin' I never had. I want to be a good Mother."

"And you can't do that whilst you're with me?" His eyes connected with hers, the same pain reflected. "You think stayin' with your violent brother is gonna give her what you never had?"

"Don't talk about him like that."

"Like what, Nicki? He fuckin' hit you and you're abouta stand there and defend him?!"

"Stop makin' this about somethin' else! I'm talking about you and me here. If there was any way this could work, you know I would take it." Stepping over to him she took a seat next to his hunched frame and took his hand in hers. Surprisingly he didn't pull away from her touch.

"There is a way. There's always a way."

"Like what, Aubrey?" She laughed humourlessly, partly due to the overwhelming fatigue and the fact that she felt this conversation was never going to end.

"We can move to Cananda."

"Oh my God." She sighed and rubbed her forehead frustratedly. "I thought runnin' away solved nothin'?"

"I'm bein' serious, Nic." His voice became more upbeat. His decision finally made. Fuck the promotion, right now the only important thing on his mind was salvaging this relationship. He loved them too much to let them slip away this easily. Especially over something that could be easily fixed.

"Aubrey-"

"Just, stop for a minute." Grabbing her hands he moved so he was face to face with her. She looked drained, the tears still slowly trailing down her tired face. "Think about it, we'd be in a whole new place. Nobody would know us, nobody would know anything. We can start again. You, Auburn and me."

"And you really think that'll work?" Her face remained doubtful as she whispered but he caught the tiny hint of hope in in her words.

"Do you think it'll work?"

There was a painfully long silence as she pondered his suggestion. Would it really work?

...

*I haaaate this chapter :| But thanks for reading and I'm sorry if it dragged on :// Hope it was alright for you guys! I Don't like asking but again, since I'm back at uni I will very kindly ask for 10 comments before I continue pleaseee? I won't leave it as long next time...Or I'll try not too lol*

16. Nobody's Perfect - Part One

Upon entering their room again he paused feeling how still the air was. The outline of her figure was emphasised by the early morning sunlight peeking through the curtains. He honestly had no idea how he was going to approach this situation, he just hoped that having Auburn out of her care for a couple hours would do her the world of good. Thinking about where he could start off he heard his Mother's words echoing in his mind. Maybe moving back to Canada wasn't such a bad idea? As he contemplated each answer for that internal question he sat down steadily on his side of the bed, it was still made up since he slept on the couch in fear of waking her.

"Where's Auburn?" The crackly whisper snatched him instantly from his thoughts as he stared at the back of her head.

"My Mom's takin' care of her. She's fine though."

"Oh."

"Listen, Nicki we need to talk. Could you please turn over?" Slowly doing as he asked she rolled on to her right side and looked up at him. Sandi was right, she looked exhausted. Noticing her fatigued body he changed the way he was addressing the situation and lay down face to face with her.

"You didn't come to bed last night."

"Sorry, I got back late and I didn't wanna wake you."

"It's fine." She whispered and let her eyes rest on his succulent lips as she half shrugged.

"Mom said you got a lil' upset last night? Wanna tell me what happened?"

"I wasn't upset I was havin' a meltdown or something. I couldn't stop Aubbie from crying and then I couldn't stop crying and I just...I needed a break, Aubrey." Her eyes lowered along with her voice.

"You're not havin' a meltdown. You're tired, stressed and overwhelmed and it's okay to feel like that." He smiled and pulled her chin up to look at him. "You're sixteen, still in school and you just had a baby. Nobody's expectin' you to just bounce back in a couple weeks, that'd be inhuman."

"But I'm expectin' that though."

"What do you mean?" He wrinkled his brow and studied her expression closely.

"I'm expectin' myself to spring back to normal. I need to."

"Well, you need to lose that mindset because it's gonna get you down."

"Yeah well, it's too late for that."

"What?"

"I already feel like I couldn't get any worse."

"You feel down?"

"Beyond down." She sniffled. "Like, so far down nobody can help me." He inched forwards some more once he became aware of the tears threatening to fall from her bottom lids. "I can't do this, Aubrey."

"Stop it." He gripped her hands softly as he spoke. "You need to see how far you've come, how far Auburn's come and really take notice of that. That was you."

"How can I do that when all I see in Auburn is him?" She paused before continuing. "I'm a mess. Like you said, I'm a sixteen year old school girl with a baby I didn't even want." The silence following her speech made his heart sink.

"You don't mean that."

"Yes I do, Drake. She was given to me in the most barbaric way and I never wanted her. I never loved her." His mouth dropped as he moved away from her teary face. "But when I held her for the first time it was like she became the most important thing in my life." Her lip quivered as she continued to talk, it was clear she was fighting her emotions but she was losing the battle miserably. "And to know that I can't even take care of her properly is killing me."

"You can take care of her, Nicki. You just need time to adjust. Stop beatin' yourself up." He moved back in again and pulled her to him. "Auburn needs you, whether you feel like she does or not, she'll always need you."

They stayed in the same position for a couple of hours as Nicki slept off her emotional outburst. He was glad he'd booked her a post-natal check-up appointment for the afternoon, a specialist might be able to assess her more expertly than himself. Suddenly going back on to the topic of hospitals he remembered he had a huge decision to make. The dinner was fast approaching and he still didn't know whether to take his chance for promotion or whisk his young family back to Canada. He knew that if he stayed people were bound to find out about Nicki, it was inevitable but clinical lead of the cardio-thoracic ward? That would be the making of him as a doctor. A small knock at the door interrupted his thoughts as he let his Mom know she could enter.

"I'm sorry, I know I said I'd have her for a couple of hours but she's not taking the bottle. I've been trying for the last hour, she's just not having it." She looked on at them apologetically, she felt bad that she was disturbing them especially since Nicki was sleeping soundly in his arms.

"It's okay, don't worry about it." His reassuring smile made her relax a little before he nodded towards Auburn's moses basket. "Just lay her down and I'll wake Nic up in a bit."

"Here." She set the bottle on the night stand once she'd put Auburn in her bassinet. "I'll let you give it a try before you go waking her up." Smiling sweetly at him she moved back over to the door frame. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything."

"Thanks." He nodded in her direction and eased himself away from Nicki. Luckily she didn't stir from his movements. Auburn was looking healthier and healthier by the day but it seemed the reverse was happening with Nicki. She looked to be getting thinner and more run-down, which was understandable considering the circumstances but he was still worried. Pushing those thoughts to the back of his nearly overflowing mind he leant down and secured Aubbie in his arms. She was still so tiny but she was growing closer to five weeks now, the time had flown by. As he sat back on to the bed he grabbed the bottle with his free hand and popped the lid off quietly, praying that she'd accept and to his surprise she did.

***

"Everythin'll be fine, stop worrying." He squeezed her hand comfortingly as they sat in the waiting area. "I can't go in with you but I'll be right outside waiting, okay?"

She inhaled shakily and nodded as she spoke. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

"That's my girl." Kissing her temple sweetly he looked over her. "And then when you're done, I'm takin' you out. I have some things I need to talk to you about."

With a furrowed brow she faced him slowly. "What things?"

He didn't get chance to answer before a stocky, middle-aged woman stepped out from Dr Santoy's room calling Nicki's name. As soon as her government was yelled out Drake saw the colour drain from her fatigued face.

"Go, you'll be fine and I'll be right out here." He gave her an encouraging smile as she stood up, the nerves affecting her ability to speak and walk confidently. She had no idea why she was so afraid.

"You must be Onika?" A tall Indian looking man moved out from behind his desk once the stocky nurse had led her into the room.

"Yeah, you can call me Nicki though."

"Alright, Nicki it is." He flashed another smile and slid his glasses on before guiding her to the examination bed. "Just hop up here, Nicki. I have some paperwork to pull out first and then we'll move on to the examination, okay?"

"Sure." Her shy stance and one word answers alerted him to her fear, he would try and make he feel as comfortable as possible. Returning less than five minutes later he sat some papers on his desk and sanitised his hands before gloving up.

"First I'm just going to run through a few questions, see how things are with you and then we'll move on the physical examination." That same smile graced his face again, relaxing her only a little. She wished Drake could be in here with her. "So, you gave birth to your baby just over a month ago?"

"Yeah, Auburn." She gave him a half smile before continuing. "She's five weeks old."

"That's a nice name. How are you finding things?"

She smiled at the reference to Aubbie having a nice name. "It's been tough, yeah." She sighed sadly. "But I'm getting used to it, slowly."

"Just like any new mother. The first few weeks are very testing, Nicki."

"I thought it was just me." She looked down shyly, half relieved at what she was hearing.

"Of course not." He gave her arm a reassuring rub. " It's difficult for any new parent. Especially if there's no support being offered. How are you finding things support wise?"

"Perfect really. I couldn't have asked for anymore help and support than I've already been given."

"Well, that's great to hear." He stood up. "There's nothing else you'd like to bring up? Concerning you and Auburn?" She shook her head no. If there was anything she'd just ask Drake. "Okay, well let's get started then. I'll let you change into the gown and I'll return in a couple of minutes, just lay down on the bed once you're completely unclothed under the the gown."

She just smiled and nodded as he handed her the blue fabric. "Thank you."

The knot in her stomach felt like it doubled in size when he re-entered the room, she felt so vulnerable just laying naked under only a thin sheet of clothing.

"You ready?"

"Mhm."

"Right, first I'm just gonna have a feel of your abdomen, check everything is okay there." He started pressing on her stomach before he'd even finished his sentence. She wanted to avoid his gaze but she needed to watch his expression to tell if everything was alright. "That all feels perfectly fine to me, you're not feeling any tenderness?"

"No, none at all."

"Good." Smiling down at her he took a step back. "Could you just sit up for me and swing your legs over the side of the bed?"

"Sure."

"That's great, I'm just going to pull the gown off of your shoulders for a minute so I can examine your breasts." He removed it before she even had chance to realise what he'd said and honestly she felt even worse than before, something which was extremely obvious to him. "It's alright, Nicki. There's no need to be nervous. It'll be over in a couple seconds, I promise." He tried to make her feel less exposed but that didn't change the fact that she was sat topless in front of this stranger. She winced a little when he pressed firmly on her. "That sore?"

"Just a little, is that normal?"

"Every woman is different but yes, it's completely normal." He smiled and moved on to her other breast. "You're formula feeding?"

"No, sir. They said because she was so early it'd be better for me to feed her myself." The look on his face made her worry. "Why? Should I be usin' formula?"

"No, no of course not. However you choose to feed your baby is completely up to you, Nicki. It's just quite unusual to have a teenaged Mother breast-feeding, they usually opt for formula." He took his hand away and let her pull the gown back up, which she didn't hesitate to do.

"Oh."

"Could you just hold your arm out for me?" She started to do as he asked but retracted her arm from him quickly.

"Wait, you're not giving me a shot are you?"

"No." He laughed at her question. "Not yet anyway, I'm checking your blood pressure. Then we'll do a blood test which, unfortunately will require a needle and then a urine test and to finish up with I'm going to examine you a little more internally, sound okay?" He figured he'd get it all out in the open in hopes that she'd relax some more but the final part of her examination was worrying her the most.

Back out in the waiting room Drake was heavily contemplating these decisions he had to make. Maybe if he just let Nicki know about it all then he could ask her what she wanted to do too? That seemed to be the best idea he'd had all day. He couldn't let his mind elaborate any further before he saw Nicki walking out of the office towards him.

"How'd it go?"

"Yeah, it was fine. I just gotta go pick up these prescriptions." She stared down at the piece of paper in her hand before looking back up at him as the headed back to the car.

"Prescriptions? For what?" He tried to look at the paper in her hand but she read them out.

"Vitamin D tablets and uhm," She stalled momentarily. "Nipple cream." She pouted whilst folding the paper over and put in her purse.

"You're vitamin D deficient?"

"Yeah, he said that's maybe why I been feelin' a lil' down and tired all the time." She glanced at him over the hood of his car before they both climbed in and picked up conversation again.

"Wait, he?"

"Mhm." She buckled in as he started the engine. "Dr Santoy's a dude."

"I asked for a female physician. I don't believe this! One thing, that's all I asked and they can't even get that right." He angrily  reversed out of the parking space and moved on to the road.

"It's fine, Drake. Why you gettin' so worked up for?"

"It's not fine, Nicki. I directly asked for another female to examine you and they went against my wishes."

"Dr Santoy was nice, he did the job and everythin's fine." she couldn't understand why he was acting so aggressively about the situation.

"I'm sorry, you're right." He ran one hand over his mouth and breathed out. "After everything you've been through I just....I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, that's all." He didn't take his eyes of the road but stole a glimpse at her when he felt a small hand wrap around his on the steering wheel.

"I was fine, Aubrey. But thank you."She grinned small at his cute and caring behaviour. Believe it or not she was still trying to get used to people treating her so kindly.

"Good, you still up for eatin' out?"

"Yes! I'm starving."

***

As he'd predicted he lost his nerve during their late lunch out. Just seeing her happy again after a few days of misery put him off greatly. He didn't want to ruin her happiness. They'd already picked up her prescriptions and were finally home. Nicki was pining for Auburn after only a day away from her and was more than ecstatic to be holding her again.

"So she was good?"

"She's been an angel all day." Sandi smiled warmly, not just at the sight before her but the fact that Nicki seemed to have cheered up considerably since the night before. She hoped she'd never have to see her like that again.

"You wanna feed her while I go shower, Aubrey?"

"Sure. There's bottles made up in the refrigerator already, right?"

"Should be." She frowned a little as she stood up from the couch. "If not, there'll be some in the freezer." Handing the tiny bundle over to him she admired the both of them before stepping back. "I won't be long."

"Take your time, there's no rush." He kissed her sweetly after she'd kissed Auburn's little head before she left them to it. As soon as she was out of their view the smile diminished and her thoughts began to consume her once again. Even undressing and actually climbing into the shower was a blur. Standing motionlessly under the downfall of shower water she stared off into space, thinking about the conversation she and Dr Santoy had before she left the doctor's office that afternoon.

"Do you have any other questions you might want to ask before you leave? If you do, now's the time to ask." He returned to his desk and sat down as she adjusted her top. He'd once again left the room for her to change and now they were nearing the end of the appointment.

"Actually, there was one thing I was wondering about." Twiddling nervously with the button on her top she took a seat in front of him.

"Okay, go ahead and I'll see if I can help." He leant on the table, waiting for her to speak.

"Well it's actually about something you mentioned earlier, regarding...Intimacy."

"Mkay." After removing his glasses he studied the surface of his desk for a second. "What about it?"

"I just wanted to know when it's okay to y'know? Start having sex again."

There was a short silence before he answered. "Look, Nicki I honestly don't think sexual intercourse is anything you should be worrying about, especially not now. You just gave birth and you're sixteen, technically you shouldn't even be considering it let alone have already done it."

"I know." She glanced down at her fidgety hands, not wanting to say that she was heartlessly robbed of her innocence.

"Are you feeling pressured by anyone? Maybe a boyfriend?"

"No not at all, I just wanted to know." Her quick response was in Drake's defence. She knew he'd never pressure her but she was pressuring herself.

"Well, I guess I should answer your question but I definitely do not recommend you take my answer as a guideline." He looked at her sternly, making her shift a little. "Usually anywhere from four to six weeks sexual activity can be resumed as normal." 

She nodded slowly. "Thank you Doctor."

"Any time. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No, that's it thanks." She stood up and let him show her to the door before heading back to Drake in the waiting area.


"Nic?" He knocked again before turning the bathroom handle. "Nicki?"

"Yeah?"

"I been shoutin' you for ages. You okay?" He called back and leant on the sink, listening to the water falling over her body. The loud sound soon died down as she turned it off.

"I'm fine, could you hand me my towel?"

"Sure." Leaning over to to the rack he pulled the pink towel from its holder as he heard her rinsing the last of the water from her hair. "Here."

"Oh, thanks." She smiled and stepped into it whilst he held it open for her. "Is my lotion out there?"

"Yeah, and your cream too." He answered her before following her back into their bedroom.

"Do you mind?"

"Uh, yeah of course." He chuckled shyly. "I'll see you downstairs when you're done." He went to leave but stopped when he heard her laugh a little. "What's funny?"

"You! I meant do you mind lotioning me up?"

"Oh." His eyes bugged dramatically before he came back to the moment. "Sure, if that's what you want?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you to do it." She locked eyes with him, giving him a seductive look that only attracted him to her even more. "You don't mind, do you?" She let her towel slip down as she turned around and grabbed her lotion, handing it to him over her shoulder.

"Not one bit." He let her lay down on the bed once her towel had fallen to the ground. He couldn't stop staring at her. She looked so perfect laying on front completely naked. Smiling to himself he swept her wet hair from her neck and shoulders before starting to rub the cream into her soft, glowing skin. He decided to keep things mild, staying mainly on her arms and upper back but her next request foiled that plan.

"You need to lotion all over, Drake. 'Specially my legs." Her eyes remained closed, allowing herself to enjoy him touching her the way he was. To say she was scared was a vast understatement but for fear of losing him she was prepared to do this. She just hoped he would catch on to her not so subtle hints. He continued on her shoulders, forcing her to believe he would go no further but before she managed to sit up she felt his hands graze her lower back, pushing on her delicately but firmly at the same time. Applying the lotion evenly.

"That better? Miss Demanding."

"Mmm, that feels good."

He faltered briefly as other parts of his body, not just his ears, reacted to the moan she just emitted. He gravitated lower and lower, doing exactly as she'd asked until he reached her feet. Her ass wouldn't leave his mind.

"Could you do my front too?" She flipped over without warning presenting his eyes with what he could only describe as perfection. He decided not to question her and once again filled his palms with the sweet smelling cream. Their eyes were glued to one another's as she moved back to be in the middle of the bed. Just out of habit he followed her movement and found himself resting over the top of her, his legs positioned on either side of her body.

"Pull you hair back." She complied slowly, moving it away from her face a neck as he started massaging the substance into her skin at the top of her chest. Her nerves were really chewing at her but she wasn't showing that at all. She wanted him to feel that she was ready, and it was working. The gasp that left her lips shocked even herself once she felt his hands on her breasts. The way he was caressing at her was starting to feel relaxing. It was having the opposite effect on him, however. With each stilted breath she let out he could feel himself becoming more and more aroused. He believed she thought this was an innocent gesture and so getting "excited" would be inappropriate. That belief was squandered when he felt her foot rubbing at his erection through his trousers. By this time his hands were at the top of her legs, dangerously close to her centre. Licking her lips seductively slowly she felt his hand make contact with the flesh between her legs as he moved his face down to hers, initiating a kiss. They were both completely lost in the moment.

...

*Okay this chapter might be super longish and confusing I'm sorry. I really struggled to get back into it :( Like, a lot!! But pleeeaaase if you're confused about anything just ask me in your comment and keep checking back to see if I've replied to you ^_^ Thanks SOOO much for all the previous comments :) And I really hope this was alright for you all. Also since I'm back at uni now, I'll so kindly ask for ten comments before I post again, thanku! ^_^*

15. Close

*I can't tell you how many times I've almost given up on these fics, I really do enjoy writing them but I really doubt myself A LOT and nothing will ever change that. Especially when I'm reading other peoples stories, I don't wanna sound like a jealous person but I do feel envious of their writing abilities! And then when it comes to writing mine I just wanna throw my laptop at the wall out of frustration at myself for not being good enough but I just wanna thank those of you who do read even if you don't comment, it means a lot so thanku very much!*

"Nicki, she'll be fine I promise." He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the side of her head as they peered down into Auburn's bassinet.

"I know but I don't wanna be away from her." She whined whilst pouting. It was true though. Apart from when Auburn was sleeping during the night, Nicki would constantly have her held close. She felt more at ease knowing she was right there with her in case anything happened.

"Well, if you really don't wanna go I can just cancel the reservations. I don't mind one bit, as long as I get to spend the night with you I'm good." He kept hold of her as she turned and looked up at him.

"But you planned all this for us."

"Yeah but I don't wanna force you to be away from Auburn. It's a natural thing for you to want to stay close to her."

"You really don't mind?"

"Of course not." He kissed her lovingly. "I'll go cancel it now." He started heading out of their dimly lit room before she stopped him.

"Aubrey?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." Their smiles mirrored each others before he disappeared. Never did she imagine her life taking this kind of turn. Not too long ago she was leaving the house at ridiculous hours just to stay away from her Father and his psychotic friends and now she was living happily with the people who meant the world to her.

Drake was true to his word, he cancelled the reservations and cooked for her instead. Honestly she preferred the atmosphere a lot more than a busy restaurant but she still felt bad that Drake's plans hand been squandered by her maternal instinct.

"Stop apologisin', I don't care about that stuff." He held her tightly to him with one arm and kissed her temple as they watched an old movie on TV.

"Me either, I just felt bad that I ruined your plans."

"Well don't feel like that, it's fine honestly."

"Mmm, good." Snuggling up to him some more she remained silent before speaking again. "Aubrey?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you mean it when you said you believed I could make it in the field of psychology?" Her random question made him look down at her, he stared for a second or two before she made eye contact with him.

"Of course I did. Why'd you ask?"

"I got my paper back a few days ago. I failed." She sighed miserably and sat up, running her hand through her hair. "I don't know if I can do this."

"Hey, look at me." His serious tone made her turn to stare at him. "You have been through so much these last few weeks, nobody can blame you for feelin' a little stressed or run-down but whatever happens you don't give up. I believe in you, I just wish you could believe in yourself a little more."

"I wish I could too."

"So what's gonna happen with this paper?" He pulled her to him and resumed their original position, he didn't really want to stay on the topic because he could see her trying not to cry.

"They said I can re-submit it and if I improve the highest I can be graded is no more than fifty percent."

"So it'll be a pass?"

"Well, yeah but a shitty one." She sniffled and pulled her feet up on to the couch.

"Hey as long as it's a pass there should be no complaining." His comment made her smile but that was soon replaced with a frown when they were both alerted by his pager bleeping in his pocket.

"What's happened?" She asked worriedly as he read the screen.

"Somethin's wrong with a patient of mine, they need me."

"Well go then, I don't mind."

"You sure?"

"It's your job Aubrey, if they need you then they need you. Go." She smiled and moved away to allow him to stand.

"I'll be back soon, promise. Love you." Hurriedly leaning down to kiss her he moved over to the coat rack and headed out to his car.

"Love you too." She sat in silence as she watched him reverse out of the garage, his lights illuminating the room before he hit the road and disappeared.

***

Making his way swiftly to the room he'd been told to go to he pushed the door open with speed. But what he was greeted with was not at all what he had anticipated.

"SURPRISE!!" His whole body jolted with shock as he stared around the room, stood before him were all his work friends and colleagues. Smiling wide awaiting his reaction.

"Oh my God." He chuckled nervously and rubbed his neck. "What is all this?"

"Ashley told us silly! I can't believe you never mentioned anything, daddy." The smile on his face melted away quickly.

"Excuse me?"

"Your girlfriend? She had a baby right? Why didn't you tell us you were gonna be a daddy?" Donna smiled, partly due to the fact that this pice of information somehow managed to get past her. The queen of gossip. Feeling everyone's eyes on him he blushed even more, frantically searching the room for Ashley's conniving face. There were pink balloons everywhere, indicating that they knew the baby was a girl.

"Oh, well I was actu-"

"Drake! You made it, I made sure everyone knew you might not be here. I didn't know if you'd be too busy with your little family." She entered the room with a motive and this was obvious to Drake as he tried to hold on to his last millimetre of patience.

"I need to talk to you. Now."

"What? Oh come on, we wanna see pictures of the little one!" The sly smirk on her face was new to him. Why had he never seen her like this before? His eyes moved away from her and on to his other friends as they nodded.

"Yeah, come on Drizzy! Hell we ain't even seen what the lucky lady looks like. You kept her quiet boy!"

"Look I 'preciate all you bein' here but I came thinkin' there was some huge emergency, I was in the middle of somethin' but thanks for the kind gesture." He looked down for a second. "I'll uh, I'll see you in a few weeks time when I return."

"You're really leavin'? We did all of this for you, please just stay for a few drinks?" Donna's sad face was killing him and taking in the surroundings he realised they'd put a lot of effort into the decor and food. Even if it was only a small gathering in the hospital staff room.

"Aight, half an hour but then I'm gone." Images of Nicki home alone kept flashing up in his mind but that was soon overtaken by anger when he caught Ashley looking over at him. As soon as everyone started talking amongst themselves he walked over to her, the fury evident in his gait.

"You like your little party?"

"The fuck are you playin' at Ashley?"

"What? I just thought that this moment in your life needed to be celebrated, don't you?" She sipped smugly on her drink.

"You're supposed to be my friend!" His hushed, temper-filled words were interrupted by Donna once again.

"You said we could see a picture?"

"What?" His brow wrinkled slightly before he caught on. "Oh right, yeah. Here." Pulling his wallet out he slid the picture from the protective screen and handed it to her. Thankfully he hadn't had chance to put one of Nicki in there yet. Hopefully she wouldn't be too upset that her baby was being looked upon by his workmates.

"Oh my Goodness." She breathed in awe. "She's so tiny." He couldn't help the familiar feeling of pride wash over him as he agreed with her.

"Yeah she was really early but she's doin' great now."

"Well, she's adorable. Must get that from her Mom, sorry boo but you ain't that cute." She laughed sweetly and handed the photo back to him. "Congratulations too. You're gonna be a great dad."

"Thanks Donna." He spoke whilst placing the image back in his wallet. As soon as Donna moved away he turned back to Ashley.

"See? Everyone's happy for you, why you so mad?"

"Because it wasn't your place to interfere like that! You're risking my job here, you understand how outta hand this is gettin'?"

"No Drake, you are risking your career, not me. I'm not the one sleeping with a fucking teenaged delinquent!" Her calm whisper soon escalated into an outburst of hushed insults.

"Teenaged delinquent? Are you forreal right now?" He shook his head irritably. "Nicki is the farthest thing from a delinquent, you have no fucking idea. I'm done with you, seriously stay outta my way and outta my life." He slammed his cup down and moved to the door without her even attempting to stop him but as he looked up to grab the handle he bumped into the last person he wanted to see.

***

"Shhh, come on baby please stop." Rocking her gently Nicki kept moving her eyes back to the clock, Drake had been gone for hours and Auburn was still screaming. She could feel herself starting to get worked up having to hear her baby cry like this. It was painful. Not to mention the fact that it was making her lactate and she'd only just fed her. The stains on her shirt slowly growing as Auburn continued to mewl.

"What's all this racket about?" Seeing Sandi's frame walk through the doorway was like seeing her guardian angel come to her rescue.

"I don't know." Her voice was only just audible over Aubbie's crying but Sandi definitely picked up on Nicki's upset tone.

"Oh Nicki sweetie, don't cry! Here, you want me to take her?" She wanted to say no because she knew that soon she'd be left alone to do this but at that moment everything was just getting on top of her.

"Please." Allowing the tears to run freely she handed an unconsolable Auburn over to Sandi.

"There we go. I'll take care of her, you just go get yourself cleaned up." The warm smile only made Nicki cry harder as she walked to her bathroom, pulling the stained fabric of her shirt away from herself. As soon as the door was closed she let her back make contact with the wood as she slid down to the floor. Peeling her shirt off she was left in only her soaked bra before standing feebly after a while of just sitting in tears. Running the tap in the sink she waited for it to run warm before holding a cloth under the steaming water and applying it to her chest to clean herself before showering.

***

"I can't believe how long you managed to keep all this quiet." Drake's boss chortled as he leant in the doorway. "You said you didn't have a lady in your life when we had that dinner meeting a few weeks back, my wife would have loved to have met her."

"Oh, yeah I ain't wanna pull her outta the house, she wasn't feelin' too great, y'know?"

"Of course, I understand." He nodded and smiled. "Which is why I made plans for the four of us, and a couple other important names. There could be a promotion in it for you Dr Graham." Winking happily he sipped on some more of his drink. The word promotion was stuck in his mind. With Nicki and Auburn to take care of now, a promotion would be more than beneficial.

"A promotion?"

"Yes sir. The Cardiology ward is in desperate need of a new clinical lead. Someone young, innovative and willing to take a risk. I suggested your name to the board, you have promising reviews Drake. This dinner will be make it or break it you understand?"

"How do you mean?" He tapped his elbow, motioning for them to take a walk down the corridor and away from the noise.

"Well, all heads of department and their partners will be attending. It always looks good to appear as though your committed to someone, so as not-"

"To appear unruly and free to do as I please?"

"Exactly Dr Graham." They both laughed before Dan continued. "The medical director of Cardiology will be there, he has a seat on the board and ultimately the impression you make on him is crucial. You're the only one with this privilege, take advantage of the props you've been given Drake." He carried on talking as he walked away, leaving Drake stood in awe. This was his chance, with this promotion he could offer Nicki and Auburn the best of the best but just one thing stood in his way. The law. He couldn't possibly turn up with a sixteen-year-old girl on his arm, if anything that could hurt his chances. There was a way around that issue though and right there and then, the consequences were outweighing the good but ultimately this plan could work. Deep in thought he was suddenly brought back to reality when he heard the staff room door open, everyone was leaving. Thankfully Ashley hadn't seen him and kept on walking away.

***

Cutting the engine in the garage he waited for the roller door to come down automatically before hopping out and locking everything up. He was surprised to see his Mom still up as she watched TV with Auburn resting in her arms.

"Where the hell were you?" Her dry and angry tone made him frown confusedly.

"I got paged, I had to go. Why? Did somethin' happen?" He blinked worriedly. "Where's Nicki?"

"Really? Six hours you were gone for! It's almost two in the morning for God's sake!" She was managing to keep her yells to a whisper since Aubbie was finally asleep. "And Nicki's asleep, she's had a really tough night so I think you should just leave her be. She's exhausted."

"Mom, tell me what happened? And don't keep up with the yelling. You of all people know how demanding my job can be! Don't guilt me like that." He watched her eyes as they shut regretfully, followed by a sigh.

"I know, I know. Sorry I didn't mean to shout, but if you could have seen the state she was in earlier." She trailed off and shook her head. "She's really struggling Aubrey, she needs you around to help her. This is what you signed up for remember?" Motioning to the peaceful baby in her arms he folded his lips and sat next to her, holding his hands out to signal that he wanted to hold her. Slowly and carfeully manoeuvring her tiny body into his arms Sandi sat back and watched them.

"I thought she was okay, I mean she seemed fine these last few days."

"I know, I can understand that but it's a lot to take on for a sixteen year old. Especially with all she's been through." She paused for a moment to admire her son and the baby he was taking on as his own. "I think you should talk to her about it tomorrow, I can watch Auburn for a while and take some of the stress off of her."

"Thanks Mom, I don't say this enough but you've been real helpful these last few weeks. We're both more than grateful."

"You don't have to thank me. I'm happy to help." Smiling lovingly at the pair of them she finally felt the courage build up inside her to ask him. "Look, I understand if you say no but I know things are going to be a little hard when I leave. Especially when you go back to work and Nicki wants to focus on school."

"Yeah?" He tried to encourage her to continue. It took a fair few seconds but her question threw him right off.

"So I was thinking maybe you should move back to Canada?"

...

*Sorry it isn't too long. I hope this was okayish :// Thanks for reading and to those who commented on the previous chapter!*

14. Falling Into Place

*With a nice reminder from Jessie I've decided to post a chapter on here since it's been a little while :) Hope it's alright. This is probably only a temporary return btw.*

*Starting from where I left off last chapter, which was like a million years ago*

"The hell? It's like 7am." She tried to twist her head and look towards the door as Drake came back through from the kitchen.

"S'all good, I got it." He'd noticed her trying to stand but she relaxed back into the chair hearing him say that. He checked the peephole first before angrily unlocking the door and snatching it open, being sure to step out and close it behind him. It was Jelani.

"The fuck do you want?" The fury was rising within him the longer he stayed silent.

"Look, I jus' wanna speak to Nic."

"And you think I'mma jus' let you in after the shit you pulled yesterday? You fuckin' hit her! Your own sister!"

"I know!" He huffed and stepped back a tad before opening up again. "I know, I was wrong for it. But this is important. Please?" The manner in which he was pleading let Drake see that he did seem kind of remorseful but he was still angry.

"If she wants to speak to you then I'll let you in, but just know I'm not leavin' her alone with you." He inched backwards to the door and let himself back in. "Nic, it's your brother."

"He still there?"

"Yeah. He said he had somethin' important to say, you want me to let him in or-"

"No, let him in. See what he has to say." He folded his lips and pulled the door open, letting a sheepish looking Jelani slide past. He was cautious with his actions as he moved into Nicki's view. She was still holding Auburn to herself with a blanket now draped over her tiny body.

"Nicki-"

"Let me guess, you're really sorry. You didn't mean it and it won't happen again?" Her voice was calm but full of hatred all at the same time as Jelani's face dropped. "Y'know who else says that?"

"Nicki please, I am nothin' like him and you know it." She quickly looked up at his distraught face but decided to keep herself calm since she still had her baby in her arms. Not to mention the fact that her riling him up like that wouldn't help the situation.

"What did you wanna say Jelani?" She was no longer looking at him but at the blanket as if she could see through it. She was hurt that he actually hit her last night but had she not been talking the way she was he wouldn't have done it. Nevertheless he still shouldn't have lay a hand on her, or Drake for that matter. Noticing that he wasn't speaking she looked up again only to see him staring at Drake. "Just say what you wanted to say Jelani, he's not goin' anywhere." The sigh he breathed was one of frustration as he sat back on to the chair behind him.

"I just wanted to make clear to you that my offer still stands. I want you to come back to Arizona-"

"I already told you I'm not goin'."

"Just let me finish." He locked eyes with her before exhaling and continuing on. "But, after last night I can understand if you said no."

"Good."

"I'm not happy 'bout all this though." He flicked his gaze between the two of them as he talked. "You and him. It ain't right, he's way too old for you." Realising that she wasn't paying him any attention he looked back to Drake. "It's wrong. You're a doctor, shouldn't you get fired for like, gettin' a teen pregnant?"

"Auburn isn't his baby." They both looked at her, Drake's focus remained solely on her as he moved to the couch and took a seat.

"Nicki, you don't have to tell him-"

"No, I want to. Well I don't want to but he needs to know." There was silence again before she spoke up quietly. "Could you tell him?" His concentration landed back on Jelani's large frame.

"Of course I can, if that's really what you want?"

"Thank you. I have to go switch which side she's feedin' on anyway so I'll just go." Jelani couldn't exactly hear what they were saying but figured it must have been important when Nicki went back upstairs, leaving him and Drake to talk.

"What's goin' on?"

"There somethin' Nicki thought you should know, but she wanted me to tell you." He took her spot on the couch and breathed out loudly.

"So, what is it?" His patience was running low but he desperately didn't want a repeat of last night, especially after how guilty, low and ashamed he felt afterwards.

"You know a guy called Tyrone?" Drake asked dryly as he watched Jelani's face wrinkle with thought.

"Yeah, he used to come by the house a lot way back. Why?"

"He's Auburn's Father." The look on his face was pure fury and only seemed to get worse as the story got on. He didn't particularly enjoy repeating everything Nicki had told him but it was what she wanted and it was for the best. Understandably Jelani had a million and one questions to ask and the want to speak to his sister about all of this. At first he was hesitant but he figured once this was all talked out then maybe he would leave them alone and go back to Arizona empty-handed.

"So he just got away with it? He's still out there?"

"Well yeah." Drake rubbed the back of his head. "The police weren't involved. If she'd been admitted to hospital one more time I would have had no choice but once she moved in here with me she was fine. Away from the violence, the stress and everythin's been good ever since. Until last night that is." He shot Jelani a cold look once he'd finished speaking. After a long, deep sigh and a moment of silence he finally opened his mouth.

"Look, I think I really owe you an apology. I'm sorry, sounds like you been lookin' out for her. I appreciate that." He gave Drake a nod.

"You don't hafta thank me, I really care about your sister and Auburn. I wouldn't let anythin' happen to them."

"I shoulda guessed that from the way you took a swing at me last night. It's pretty damn obvious how much you care. I'm just playin' the big brother role, y'know?" He shook his head regretfully. "I'm sorry. I was just hung up on the age difference and I'mma be honest, I'm still not happy with that but as long as she's safe then I guess I can't complain right?"

"She's fine here and she knows where you are if she ever wants to leave, I'mma not gon' stop her from seein' you."

"I know, I know." He nodded and for the first time let a small smile appear on his face. "Thanks."

"Woah, what is this? Some sort of parallel universe?" They both turned their heads hearing Nicki talk as she came down the stairs cautiously, Auburn was asleep in her arms.

"Nah, we just sortin' out our differences." She couldn't help but reveal a dimpled smile once she heard Drake say that. Just the fact that he was putting aside his anger to make amends with Jelani. All for her. Her brother's eyes remained on them as he watched carefully. There was no denying it. Even as much as he wanted to he couldn't say there was no affection there because there was. He apologised profusely to the pair of them before Drake felt comfortable enough to leave her alone with him. He understood they had things to discuss that didn't necessarily concern him.

"You want me to go feed her?" He held his hands out as he stood up after hours of sitting.

"Thank you, there's a couple bottles already made up in the fridge." Slowly shifting to the edge of the couch she handed Auburn over to Drake before resuming her position and continuing her conversation with Jelani. He had a plane to catch in four hours and then he'd be out of their hair. Making his way into the kitchen he looked down into his arms, she really was the perfect baby. He laughed lightly at how big her scratch mittens were on her tiny hands as he carefully got her bottle ready and headed back upstairs. He felt terrible that his Mom had been locked in her room all afternoon watching TV so he decided to take Auburn up to see her. With the baby balanced carefully in one arm he held the bottle with the other an knocked the lid on the door skilfully without dropping anything.

"It's open." Taking notice of her cue to go in he entered and headed straight for the wicker chair in the corner of the room. "How's everythin' goin' with them?" Sandi asked with concern as she put some warm socks on. She was layin blissfully against the headboard whilst she watched TV.

"Actually, really well. He said she can stay." He spoke between shifting Auburn in his arms and testing the temperature of her milk on his skin. It was perfect. Sandi knew he was smiling, which only made her smile gleefully too.

"Aubrey that's great, I'm really happy for you y'know? I'm not just sayin' it 'cause I'm your Mom and I have to!" She chuckled and sat herself up to get off of the bed and moved over to where he was sitting.
"She's adorable." Her voice was soft and gentle as she delicately ran her index finger over Auburn's little cheek. She was feeding a lot better after only a few days, which Drake knew to be a promising sign. That and she was accepting both the bottle and Nicki's breast, even though both were breast milk it made all the difference for Drake to be able to get up and feed her through the night if Nicki was too tired.

"Thanks." He smiled as they both continued to watch her.

***

The next two weeks were pretty rocky in terms of coping with Auburn but now that she had a regular routine being reinforced things were looking up a little more with each day. Both Nicki and Drake were super appreciative of Sandi's presence, she was helping out a great deal and truthfully Nicki was petrified for when she had to return back to Canada.

"Hey, I was talkin' to you." He chuckled when she looked up at him. "You good?" He frowned seeing her face troubled with thoughts.

"Yeah, I was just thinkin' 'bout how your Mom would be leavin' soon." She peered down and focused on her hands, he could tell she was scared about being left to care for Auburn without an experienced Mother at hand to help them out when they needed it.

"Nicki, you're a great Mom. Auburn's gonna be fine without her Nana here." He shuffled up to her some more on the couch as she relaxed into his side. She smiled slightly at the word Nana, which Sandi had adopted as her name.

"You're not just sayin' that?"

"No, I'm tellin' the truth. I never lie." He nodded matter of factly causing Nicki to look up at him with an unimpressed face. "What? I don't."

"Okay, says the guy who told me he was a twenty-seven year old named "Drake". You lie all the time Aubrey."

"I do not! Okay, so I lied back then but when have I ever lied recently? Hmm? Come on tell me." He sat back and smiled when she took a while to respond.

"Alright." Pulling away from his arms she turned to face him properly. "The other day, you told me that you'd never been a porn kinda guy, only I happened to find a few-"

"Alright!" He silenced her quickly as she began laughing. "Okay, so I lie about some things, but I'm not lyin' when I say I love you or that you're a great Mom."

"Mm, you better not be." She moved in and kissed him. "I was thinkin' we could take Auburn out today."

"Really? You feel up to it?" He resumed his hold on her as she lay into him again.

"As long as you're there, I'll feel okay."

"Well where d'you wanna take her?"

"Anywhere, we need more food. We could take her with us right?"

"Or I have a better idea."

"What?"

"We could go furniture shopping, we haven't got anythin' for her room yet."

"Really? We can go today?" She moved away quickly and looked up at him. The excitement in her eyes made him smile.

"Sure, go get ready and we'll make a move." He laughed when she squealed and jumped up before kissing him multiple times whilst saying thank you.




She didn't take too long to get ready and returned after showering. Auburn was fast asleep in her arms, all dressed and covered up to keep warm.

"You ready?"

"Yeah, your Mom said she's gonna stay home." She watched his face to see what he was thinking. These last few days her arthritis had been giving her more grief than usual and he was worried about her.

"I thought she would." He folded his lips and cranked the heating up some more before grabbing his keys. "Aight, I'll see you in the car."

"Take your time." She knew he was going up to see his Mother and didn't want to rush him out for her needs.

After fastening Auburn in her seat and triple checking everything Nicki climbed into the passenger seat and waited patiently. She was only sat there for about three more minutes before she saw him closing the front door after he left the house.

"She okay?" There was silence for a second after her shut his car door.

"Yeah, she's fine. I gotta pick some stuff up for her whilst we're out." He turned the key in the ignition. "All buckled up?"

"Yup." Popping the "P" she looked over at him and smiled before they set off.

***

"How can you drive a car, yet you can't even steer a freakin' stroller?" She motioned for him to move and took over pushing Auburn as Drake laughed.

"I see how it is. I guess Onika's happy to walk home. Ain't that right Aubbie?" He peeked in at her as she just looked around randomly. He couldn't believe she was four weeks old already.

"All talk no action, thas what you are." She didn't alter her pace as they walked around looking at paint colours.

"Oh? We'll see about that."

"There you go again. All mouth."

"I'mma pick the most ugly colours if you don't start bein' nice to me." He held his hand on his chest as if he was hurt by her words.

"Are you even lookin'?" She halted and turned to look at him with one hand on her hip and the other on the stroller handle.

"Yeah, look." he grabbed a random tester and held it up innocently. "I was thinkin' maybe this for the window wall and-"

"Stop it." She snatched the card from him and put it back. "Seriously, I want you to show me which ones you like so we can pick together."

"Aight, anythin' I see that I like I should show you?" He carried on following her.

"Yes, unless it's an ugly colour then don't bother."

"I see somethin' I like." His smirk turned into the face of a young boy being told off when she stopped abruptly and he almost walked into the back of her. His eyes were too busy admiring the ass in front of him.

"I can't with you right now." She waved her hand in the air, motioning to the other shelves. "Please, go away and don't come back 'til you got some colours." She couldn't help but smile when he raised his hand to his brow and saluted her whilst stomping his foot.

"Yes ma'am."

"You're such a jerk."




Their search for paint colours went on longer than they had planned since Drake wanted to act silly but eventually they settled on a simple baby pink colour, which they both liked. It was now dark and their shopping had come to an end, most of the items they had managed to pack in the back but some things they had to order in. The car was silent with Nicki dropping to sleep as she looked out of her window and Auburn napping peacefully in her seat. He was counting down the seconds before Nicki opened her mouth about food.

"Yo, I'm starvin'. What are you cooking for me?"

"Oh? I'm cooking for you?" He kept moving his gaze between her and the road.

"You are now. But you don't mind, 'cause you love me." Her face was illuminated by her phone as she browsed through it.

"Damn, you know me too well." He saw her dimples appear but she never looked up at him. "I have a surprise for you though, so we don't need to cook."

"A surprise?" Her head instantly flew up as she stared at the side of his face.

"Mhm, and yes it is gonna stay a surprise. I'm not tellin' you, so don't even bother tryin' to get it outta me." He beamed proudly and pulled into his driveway as she huffed.

They decided to get Auburn inside so Nicki could go ahead and feed her whilst he unloaded all their purchases. For now they'd just have to stay put in the garage.

"I thought I heard you get back." Sandi spoke quietly as she wrapped her cardigan around herself securely.

"Yeah, we were gone longer than I planned. Sorry Ma." He leant forward and kissed her cheek after shutting the front door and removing his jacket.

"Where's Nicki?" She followed him through to the kitchen slowly.

"She's gone upstairs to feed Auburn. You're still okay to babysit tonight? 'Cause I could always change the reservations?"

"No, no, no. You've been planning this for ages, take her out, she deserves it. You both do." Her hand grasped at his arm as she rubbed it soothingly.

"You're a gem, thanks Mom."

"Don't mention it, besides I get to be selfish and have my grandbaby all night without any disturbances."

"Who's selfish?" Her voice came from behind Drake as she strolled in slowly with Auburn held to her chest, covered with her pink blanket as she fed her.

"Oh nobody, I was just sayin' I get to spend some quality time with this little one whilst you two aren't home tonight."

"We're not gonna be home?" Her eyes moved up to Drake's face curiously.

"No, so once you're done feedin' her, slip into somethin' a lil' more dine-worthy and I'll show you your surprise." Winking at her blushing face her kissed her forehead and pulled a chair out for her. "I'mma go take a shower." He smiled at his Mother before disappearing back upstairs.

"I'm really happy he found you y'know?" Taking a seat opposite Nicki she watched her look up sweetly.

"I'm happy he found me too."

...

*Okay, I'm sorry it drags on a bit. There is gonna be some actual storylines coming up...Hopefully! But for now, I'll be seein' ya! Also I'm updating an Onikafaree fic tmrw, probably HIA and WTWC they were most requested. Thanku for all the previous comments ^_^*

Auburn and Drake ^_^