Monday, 15 July 2013

19. Back To Bottling

*Ughh this chapter was gonna be the death of me! I struggled so bad to write it! :( Anyway, I hope it's alright even though it's a mess :/ I'm gonna try and post on SMF too but I hate that one so, I might not lol I'll see. THANKU to those who commented on Sacrifice and Frozen the other day! I really appreciate it! :)*

Just like that, all the memories started flooding back into her head. The pain, the fear and the damage this man had inflicted upon her were still very much present and that became even more evident to her when she couldn't gather herself quickly enough to form a full sentence. She felt paralysed for a good minute or so as he stared at her. That sick look still plastered on his face. The same look he had the night he stole her innocence. Slowly recovering from the initial shock she managed to stutter her words out.

"You?" She felt her mouth gape as the tears made yet another unwanted appearance. "You live here?"

"Yeah, I sure do. Once your old man was too fucked up to take care of himself anymore he handed over the keys. The place is as good as ours." He smiled that smarmy smile and motioned to shut the door.

"Don't!" Grabbing at the bags she swiped the tears away and moved towards the door quickly. "You really think I'm abouta spend another second in the same fucking room as you?" She shook her head angrily. "Move outta my way, Tyrone."

"Hey, calm down. What's the rush, Nika?" Reaching his hand out he tried to touch her but she backed away quickly. "I just wanna talk."

"There is nothing to talk about, now move outta my way."

He was about to object again but as soon as his mouth went to move the door pushed open. Saved by Julie.

"What's goin' on up here? I could hear y'all yellin' from downstairs." Her slightly irked complexion was extremely visible as she switched her focus between her on-edge husband and an extremely distraught Nicki.

"It's nothin', baby." He stepped back and rested by her side but she didn't look very convinced. "Onika's just a lil' upset, what with everythin' that's happened to her old man and all that. Ain't that right, Nic?"

She almost choked on a response, her body frozen with fear. "Y-yeah. There's a lot of memories here, that's all."

"Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't even think about that. You okay?"

"She's fine." His voice beat her to it as he gave her a threatening look. She knew exactly what it meant. All she had to do was say the word and she could possibly end his marriage. There was no telling Julie would believe her though and as satisfying as it would be to shatter his life like he had hers, she just couldn't do that to Julie and especially not to his kids.

That's when it hit her like a train. His kids.

"Well, you're welcome to join us for dinner if you want? We got plenty goin' 'round." She smiled sweetly and rested into Tyrone's side. Her hand laying on her small rounded bump.

"Thanks but I have to get goin'. I've already been here longer than I'd planned." Hoisting the bags up over her shoulder she tried to keep her eyes low and away from his gaze but wasn't letting up though. Their attention was soon snatched in the direction of the youngest child as she wandered into the room.

"Mommy, I'm hungry."

"I know, we're gonna eat soon." Lifting her up, Julie let her settle on her hip and proceeded to wipe the mess from her tiny face. Tyrone however, was too busy studying Nicki. Her focus was glued to the child, she had the same hair colour and skin complexion as Auburn. Maybe that's what Auburn would look like when she got older? Her mind was just swimming with thoughts. So many that she hadn't even realised what she must have looked like at that moment. It was too late though, Tyrone already knew something was up.

"Well, I'm gon' get back to cooking. It was nice meetin' you Nicki." She smiled. "Ty, can you show her out when she's done?"

"There's really no need, I know the way." She assured.

"It's no problem, I gotta head back out to my truck anyhow." He folded his lips and waited until the sound of Julie's feet hitting the stairs could be heard. There was silence. Nicki'd had enough, she just wanted to be on her own so she could comfortably let the tears fall but as soon as she made a move for the door he blocked the way again, grabbing her wrist firmly.

"She's pretty ain't she?" She was too afraid to answer. "You don' think so?"

"Yes, you have a beautiful wife." Curling her lip, she felt her tears still travelling down her cheeks. "Please, just let me leave? I did what you wanted, I kept my mouth shut." Never once making eye contact she kept her eyes fixed on the opening in the door, ready to make her hasty exit.

"I wasn't talkin' 'bout Jules. I was talkin' 'bout my baby girl."

There was a quiet second as she collected herself to answer. "Yeah. She's cute."

"You looked like you recognised her, the way you was starin' at her. Or maybe she reminds you of someone? Is that what it is, Nicki?"

"It's none of those, now can I please just leave?!" She shoved him as hard as she could in an attempt to get through the doorway but he wouldn't allow it. Hardening his grip on her wrist he moved to grab her other one and pinned her to the wall forcefully.

"There isn't somethin' you wanna tell me before you leave, Nika?" His hushed words brushed past her ear. Just feeling his hands on her body again was making her skin crawl.

"Please." She cried. "I just wanna go home."

"Tyrone!" Julie's voice sang out faintly from downstairs. His hand immediately covered Nicki's mouth. "Would you come down here an deal with your damn boys?!"

Watching him intently she seized the opportunity to make a move whilst he was distracted, detangling herself from his strong grasp she snatched the door open and moved swiftly down the steps. She ignored the children arguing at the bottom of the stairs as she raced out of the house. She felt like she'd never ran so fast in her life.

Back in the safety of Drake's house he was facing some of his own troubles. The main one being an unsettled Auburn as she continued to cry loudly in his arms.

"C'mon Aubbie." He rocked her gently as he cooed. She'd been crying for the last half hour and he was hoping Nicki would have been back by now. It was almost 4pm and she was still out. "You can't be hungry, I just fed you." He frowned worriedly and sat down, letting her rest in his arms and lap. He'd fed her, changed her and tried to get her to sleep but she was still screaming. He had no idea what to do. On top of that worry, Nicki hadn't been answering his calls and he was starting to get really concerned. Anything could've happened to her. He was trying not to think too much on it but the ideas definitely wouldn't let his mind rest. Only adding to the stress, he'd had an abundance of missed calls from Ashley too. What she wanted he had no idea but he'd soon find out when he headed into work later on. He was absolutely dreading it.


Somehow she had been managing to ignore the biting cold as it chewed into the bare skin on her arms. She hadn't got very far, in fact she was slumped against SB's front yard fence crying silently as she held the bags close to her. Just seeing his face again was enough to throw her back into the turmoil she'd experienced nearly a year ago but to actually  have his hands on her once more was almost unbearable. She felt dirty even though he hadn't taken advantage of her this time, any contact with him made her feel violated. Perhaps it was just the memories that never ceased to leave her mind.

Rubbing her arms in the cold she started fretting as soon as she saw the marks he'd left on her skin. At the time it didn't even feel like he'd grabbed her that hard. Obviously it was hard enough to have left such harsh marks. She had no idea what Aubrey would say if he saw these. Shaking her head miserably she let her mind wander to the revelation she'd just become aware of inside that house. Those kids were Auburn's family. That man was her Father. None of them would ever meet her and for some strange reason it was breaking her heart. Although Tyrone was undoubtedly a sick and twisted monster, his family life seemed so perfect. Not that hers wasn't, or at least not so much anymore but she feared Auburn would never have what those kids had. The playful sibling banter, the uncomplicated back story. And on top of that, she was petrified that the way she viewed Auburn would never change. Obviously she loved her with all her heart but the more she she was going to grow the more she was going to resemble Tyrone. What if her daughter's appearance would forever remind her of these dark times? This was something she knew she should have spoken about to Drake but she was far too scared of what he might think. Her tears continued to roll down her cheeks until SB's voice once again pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Nicki? You okay?" His face was full of absolute concern as she quickly wiped at her tears.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She nodded as she got to her feet cautiously. "Just a lil' overwhelmed I guess."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Trying to smile as best she could she folded her lips in a desperate bid to stop the tears but they just wouldn't leave her alone. She was sick and tired of crying all the time. That was another reason why she was looking forward to leaving this place. She felt that maybe once she was settled in Canada she could start afresh and be happy because soon enough she'd have no tears left to shed. She had only just managed to kind of control her sobs when he pulled her into a hug, which was the worst thing to do when she was crying because it just made her cry even harder.

"C'mon, tell me where you live. I'mma take you home."

He didn't question her anymore and led her to his truck, he was quite surprised that she hadn't argued back and let her stubbornness come through but it was clear to him that something had happened in that house. Shutting her door once she was strapped in, he turned around and stared up at her old home. There was a figure stood in the window watching them intently as he started moving around to his side of the car. He always thought that dude was a tad on the creepy side.

Thankfully she was able to compose herself on the drive home, going back to Drake in such a state would surely have him worried. But there was just so much going on in her head, it felt like it was going to explode. She couldn't believe that in the space of only a few hours her previously happy and relaxed state was now wrought with all this pain and sadness. Tyrone and Aubbie were laying heavy on her mind. So was her Father. Why would he care so much about her belongings? It didn't make any kind of sense to her frazzled brain and she didn't get chance to come up with an answer before they slowly came to a stop.

"Yo, you live here?" SB broke the silence, his eyes popping when he looked up at the house. It wasn't anything super special but in comparison to what she used to live in, it was quite spectacular.

"Yeah." She folded her lips and breathed in deeply. "Thanks for the ride home, I was really dreadin' that subway journey." Smiling tiredly she went to grab the door handle but he stopped her.

"Wait, can we exchange numbers? It'd be good to keep in touch." The look on her face made his heart warm up a little. He knew something was definitely going on with her. Ever since she disappeared all those months ago he'd had his concerns. She seemed like she really needed a friend and he was more than happy to retake that position, he was worried about her. The whole car ride was silent aside from her sniffling and this certainly wasn't the same Nicki he remembered knowing.

"Oh." She smiled. "Sure, I'd like that." They swapped digits before he got out and opened her door for her. Honestly, it would be good for her to have a friend to talk to. She'd lost touch with everybody that was in her life. The only person she ever spoke to anymore was Drake.

"Take care of yourself, Nic. You ever need anythin', you know you can call me."

"Thanks, Safaraee." She clutched at the bags again and headed up to the door, turning to wave when she heard him pulling away from the curb.

The house was quiet is what first came to mind. She'd half-expected to hear the TV playing or Aubbie crying but the air was still. Shutting the door behind her she started making her way up to their room. Her pained face soon relaxed when she lay eyes on the pair of them sleeping soundly. He'd obviously nodded off unintentionally since Aubbie was snoozing on his chest, his hand almost covered her whole back as he held her there. She smiled when she noticed he still had the soiled burping cloth slung over his shoulder.

Dropping the bags quietly she removed the stained material from him and grabbed a few other things that needed to be washed, dumping them into the clothes hamper once she was in the bathroom. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and sighed. Dishevelled wasn't even the word and the shower was calling her, she'd been desperate to wash away his touch since she left that place. Growing frustrated with the day's events she checked on Drake and Aubbie, placing her gently in her moses basket before locking herself away. Scrubbing violently at her skin in the privacy of the shower. She'd deal with this the same way she dealt with her first encounter with him. Burying it deep down inside and leaving it there to fester.


"Why didn't you wake me when you got back?" He was rushing around frantically. He must have needed the rest but now he was going to be late into work.

"Because." She reasoned as she stayed sat on the bed. "You looked cute, I didn't wanna wake you guys."

"I ain't even get time to cook for you or nothin'." Pulling the shirt together he started buttoning it before grabbing his watch and putting it on.

"I can do that, I'll have somethin' ready for when you get home."

"You're too good to me." He grinned and kissed her head on the way back around the bed. "So, how'd you go today?"

"Fine, I got everythin' I needed." Changing the subject she nodded towards the bags on the floor, careful not to wake Auburn in her arms.

"Good job." He smiled before looking more inquisitive. "You were gone a while, is that all you managed to pick up?"

"Yeah, I bumped into my neighbour SB. We we're talkin' for a lil' bit."

"So you ain't see your Dad I take it?"

She shook her head. "He was out. SB gave me the spare and I let myself in."

"You picked a good time to visit then." Throwing his suit jacket on he turned to face her. "I'm sorry I can't stop and talk a little longer, we'll talk when I get home. I promise." He leant down and kissed her softly before pulling away and smoothing his hand over Aubbie's head. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck." She smiled sweetly. "You'll be fine." He let out a quick breath before heading downstairs. The minute he disappeared her smile did too. The sooner they got to Canada the sooner she could start living her life without all these chains and memories weighing her down. There was one thing she wanted to do before they left though and what better time then the present?


"Whatever it is you have to say, I'm not interested so you can stop calling me." He slammed his work locker shut and turned to stare at her bemused face.

"Obviously there's a little part of you that is curious though." She took a step closer to his tensed and angry body. "Otherwise, why would you have agreed to meet?"

"I only agreed to this so I could get you off my back, Ashley."

"That's not true." She smirked. "That last message I sent you caught your attention, didn't it?"

"Why should I believe what you say? Nothin' but bullshit ever passes your mouth." He shook his head. "You always were a liar and you always will be."

"I ain't lyin' this time, Aubrey. I have the notes to prove it."

His face relaxed with shock. "If that's the case then let me see 'em."

"What, you mean just hand them over to you?" She smiled. "I can't do that, it'd be a conflict of interest. You're too involved with her." She popped her gum infamously. "Besides, it's such a complex case it's goin' higher."

"Complex case?"

"Mhmm, terrible stuff." She widened her eyes and flicked through the papers in her hand.

"How'd you even find her missing notes? We searched high and low for them."

"I pulled a few strings, called a few people. It actually wasn't that hard." Her eyes connected with his again. "I hope you're not too attached already."

"Give me the goddamn notes!" He made a reach for them but she snatched them back.

"Always did have a bit of a temper, didn't you Aubrey?"

"I'm not playin' around anymore, Ashley! If there's somethin' wrong with her I need to know!"

"And you will." Her voice was still annoyingly calm in contrast to his yells. "All in due time."

"The fuck is that s'posed to mean?" His brows only emphasised his anger.

"Meet me at the bar tonight and I'll give you the notes."

"This is fuckin' ridiculous." He laughed without finding anything funny and ran his hand over his face. He was desperate and his frustrated sigh showed it. "The bar downstairs?"

"No, that's the work bar. I wanna go somewhere a lil' more private." She could tell he was becoming irate.

"You've got five minutes of my time, that's it." He growled. "And you better bring those notes too."

"Great I'm done for the night now, so pick me up when your shift is over." Sliding past him she smiled and made her way around the corner as if nothing had happened. The amount of hate he harboured towards her was unreal, this girl was his best-friend once upon a time. What the hell happened?

Ever since Nicki was admitted into hospital the first time he met her, they'd had a huge difficulty tracing her notes. She'd been treated in so many hospitals he just figured they were lost in the system. That didn't stop him from worrying though, all her medical history would be in those notes. It seemed odd but by having them he felt he would have a better understanding of her background and the way Ashley was putting it, there was a possibility something important had cropped up in her records.

For now though, he had to remain focused for his shift and the dreaded meeting he had to face afterwards. He was handing his resignation in with two weeks notice. Then they'd be free to start their new life in Canada, away from all this bullshit.


*I reeaally hope this was okay for you guys, I'm struggling so bad with this story at the moment :( I feel like this chapter was just all thrown together :/ Anyway, thanks so much to those who commented on the previous chapter :) This would have ended agessss ago if it wasn't for you!*

Wednesday, 12 June 2013

18. Memory Lane

*Thanku so much for the previous comments guys ^.^ I really hope this is okay for you!*

He wiped his brow tiredly and sat down on the couch. Things were transpiring quickly with the move. The whole of the lounge room was filled with boxes as he attempted to start packing. He'd already got most of it done, it was just bits and pieces left to sort along with the transportation of their furniture. He couldn't be more thankful that Nicki agreed to this. Her thinking was that she had nothing to lose by saying yes and everything to gain. Things had understandably been a little off between them but he couldn't blame her with everything that had happened to Auburn. She'd been released from hospital almost three days ago and nothing seemed to have gone wrong yet. They were given a sort of monitor that would alarm them if Aubbie's breathing ever ceased whilst she was sleeping and that eased Nicki's mind considerably. She'd hardly put her down since she'd been discharged. Looking over at them he couldn't help but smile. That's when another issue crossed his mind.

"Oh yeah, that's somethin' else we gotta think about."

"What's that?" She kept her eyes on Auburn and waited for him to answer.

"We should prolly start checkin' out the different schools, see which one suits you most."


He frowned. "Okay? Is that it?"

"Well whattya want me to say, Aubrey?" She looked over at him annoyed.

"I just figured you'd be a lil' more enthusiastic. That's all."

"Well, I'm sorry I ain't jump up with excitement."

"What's with you today? You been actin' like a spoilt brat all mornin'." He shook his head.

"Maybe I don't wanna go back to school." She shrugged and returned her focus back to her baby as he squinted, trying to make sure he'd heard her right.

"Where's all this comin' from?"

"It's not comin' from anywhere. I been thinkin' about it for a while now actually."

"You never said anythin' to me." Standing up he moved over and sat on the same couch as her.

"That's 'cause you never asked." She looked directly at him, the anger had disappeared already. "You just assumed that's what I wanted to do."

"And it's not?"

"Not right now."

"You wanna stay home with Auburn." He sighed with the realisation the he was right.

"Are you mad?"

"No, of course I'm not mad. She's your baby and I understand you wanna spend time with her."

"But?" She knew it was coming.

"I just don't want you to regret anythin'."

"I know that if I go to school and miss out on all these priceless moments with Auburn I'm gonna regret it." She shifted her tiny body in her arms. "School isn't goin' anywhere, I can return to my education when Aubbie's older."

"Does this have anythin' to do with your grades?" His voice was softer as he moved closer to her. It was like he'd read her mind. She hated that.

"Look, I just don't see the point wasting my time there if I'm not gettin' the grades I know I can achieve. It's just too much on my plate right now."

"I'm not gonna act like your Father and force you to go but I'ont think you should make any rushed decisions just yet." He threw his arm around her gently and pulled her into him, being careful not to disturb Auburn. "Give it some time and some more thought first."

"Okay, but it's gon' be the same answer." She smiled as she looked down. Her stubbornness was surely going to be interesting for him as time went by.


After locking up the garage, Drake made his way inside as quitely as he could. It wasn't deathly early in the morning but he knew Auburn and Nicki were still alseep. He'd been to drop Sandi off at the airport. Her time with them had come to an end but she'd be seeing them again soon when they made the move official though. After locking up he made his way to their bedroom and shut the door behind himself.

"Did she get away okay?" Her small voice made him jump.

"Yeah, everythin' was fine. Why you awake this so early?" He removed his clothes and climbed under the sheets again, the moment he did so he could feel her moving backwards towards him. Only stopping when his chest was firmly pressed against her back and his free arm laying across her side.

"I can't get back sleep."

"What's botherin' you?" He pressed his lips on to the skin visible in the crook of her neck but she still remained silent. "Talk to me, Nic. What's up?"

"I have to go back to my old house today." She wanted to stay facing the way she was. She always found it easier to talk to someone when she wasn't looking directly at them. But Drake was different. His face made her feel more relaxed. More secure than she had in a long time. Slowly shifting in his hold she managed to rotate herself to be chest to chest with him. "It's nothin' bad. It's just a few things I need to go pick up."

"And you're worried about it?"

"I don't know." Her eyes flickered slightly. "I don't know what I feel right now, or what I should feel."

"I can go with you if you're scared?"

"No. This is somethin' I need to do on my own." She nodded to herself and looked down. "I'll take my phone though and if I need you I'll call."

"Make sure you do." He spoke sternly before kissing her forehead. "You want me to drop you off?"

"I can take the subway."

"You sure?" He questioned.

"Yeah, it'll give me some time to think on the way." She finished speaking and snuggled into him some more. "I don't wanna get up. It's too cold." Her voice was muffled as she spoke into his chest.

"You're gon' love Canada then."

She laughed into his skin before returning back to eye contact. "Are you nervous about today?"

"Not really. I know it's been approachin', I just hope it all goes well. No drama." He was referring to handing his notice in at work. He knew his boss would have something to say but he didn't want Nicki to feel guilty about any of this. It was what he wanted to do.

"You'll be fine." She rubbed his cheek and kissed him slowly before getting out of the bed. "What time are you headin' out?"

"Later today, why?" He yawned as he spoke.

"I just wanna be back in time before you go. Otherwise, who's gon' watch Aubbie?" Her voice disappeared into the bathroom as she talked.

"Oh yeah, I keep forgettin' my Mom's not here anymore." Throwing his arms up under his head he exhaled slowly and relaxed back into the pillow. "I'll just leave whenever you get back."

"Hopefully I can be in and out within an hour." She moved to stand in the bathroom doorway, her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth.

"You reckon your Dad'll be home?"

"I don't know. I hope not." Her sentence was cut short when Auburn started to fuss in her moses basket.

"It's a'ight. I got it." He slid out of the bed. "You go shower, we'll be fine."


"You express any milk yesterday?"

She nodded and pulled her toothbrush out to spit. "Yeah, it's in the refrigerator."

"Oh good." He smiled down at her sweet little face. "Hear that Aubbie? Breakfast is all done and ready to go. Well, for you it is anyway." He carried on talking to her as he lifted her out, completely unaware that Nicki was watching him admiringly. He was so good with her. Almost as if Auburn was actually his. She wished she was but the bitter memories would always be with her. Every time she looked at her baby she could see Tyrone's face. Hopefully that's another thing the move to Canada would help to heal.

"We'll see Mommy when she's done showering." Cradling her in his strong arms he headed out of the room. His voice still audible until he was too far away to hear.


She could feel her nerves eating at her the whole time she was on the subway. Her mind racing with thoughts. What if her Father was home? She had no idea what she'd even say to him. Or even worse. What he might do. Before her thoughts could get any deeper she was pulled back to reality by her phone. It was Drake.

"You there yet?"

"No, I'm just at my stop now." He could her the fright in her words.

"You'll be fine, call me if you need anythin', okay?"

"I will, I promise. How's Aubbie?"

"She's fine, sleepin' like a log. We're watchin' the game." He laughed and checked on her as she napped.

"Why you puttin' her to sleep watchin' basketball, Aubrey?"

"She loves it."

"She loves it? Or you love it?" She smiled into the phone.

"Alright, it was a compromise. She gets to pick next time."

"Torturin' my poor baby." She laughed. "Look I gotta go, I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, we Love you."

"I love you both too." Every time she said those words she couldn't prevent the smile from spreading across her face. Hearing him say it made her smile even harder. Bringing her attention back to the task ast hand she slid her phone back into her jean pocket and proceeded to get off at her stop.

The sights she was seeing along with the smells and sounds were bringing back all kinds of memories. Some good and some bad. Most of them were horrific if she was being perfectly honest but she kept her head down and walked fast to get to her house quicker. The less time she spent on the street, the safer she'd be. Her house could have been picked out by her eyes from miles away. It was strange to think that all of her childhood memories lived behind those four walls. She kept her arms crossed over her chest as she grew nearer, her pace slowing down until she reached a stop. This was it. She was finally going back. Facing her fears. Taking a deep breath she held it in for a second before exhaling calmly. Before she even lay a finger on the gate, a male voice stopped her.


She turned in his direction and froze. "Safaree? Oh my God."

"Yeah, it's been a while since I seen you." He smiled as he dumped the bin bag into the trash can. "How you been?"

"Good, really good actually." She smiled back at him and approached the fence. "How about you?"

"I can't really complain" His hands became buried in his pockets. "I ain't seen you since I picked you up from the hospital that time, everythin' okay there?"

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that." She looked down briefly. "I'm good though. I moved out shortly after that."

"I figured. I really missed seein' your face around here y'know?"

"I'm sure you did." Rolling her eyes playfully she smiled again and looked up at him.

"Forreal, I wouldn't lie to you." He folded his lips before becoming more solemn. "Y'know, I'm real sorry to hear about your old man, I can't even-"

"Excuse me?"

"Your Dad, I'm sorry to hear 'bout what happened to him."

"Yeah I heard that part." She looked up at her house with concern. "I just didn't know what you meant.  What's happened to my Dad?"

"You mean no one told you?"

"Told me what, SB? I don't know what you're talkin' about." Although her feelings towards her Father were still very much the same, she was still concerned as to what had happened.

"I'ont know the full story but he's in a nursin' home."

"A nursing home?" Her face  portrayed only utter shock.

"Yeah, you'll have to ask the new house owners what exactly happened, but I'm sure that's what I heard."

"Oh my God." She finally shut her gaping mouth and stared at the house again. "Thanks, I'll go talk to them now."

"A'ight, well make sure you check in with me more often. It was good to see you again." He nodded and smiled that smile as he walked backwards away from her.

"I will, and same to you too." Flashing her dimples briefly she watched him disappear back inside before making her way cautiously towards the front door. Not much had changed, the outside of the house still looked pretty much the same to be honest. Taking yet another deep breath she knocked three times and stepped away in preparation for someone to open. She could definitely hear voices, they sounded like children. Without warning the door opened quickly and a young dark-haired woman was stood before her.

"I'm sorry, whatever it is you're selling, I'm not interested." She was about to shut the door but Nicki's voice halted her.

"No, wait! I'm not selling anything, I used to live here."

"Oh, you're that man's daughter? Nicola?"

"Nicki, actually." She smiled anxiously. "But yeah, I'm Robert's daughter."

"I'm sorry, I should've recognised you from the photos." She shook her head regretfully.


"Yeah, look, I think maybe you should come in." Holding the door open wide, she stepped aside and let a rather confused Nicki enter the house. It was a lot warmer than she remembered and it smelled nice too. "Don't worry about your shoes, havin' three kids tramplin' 'round is bound to ruin the carpets anyway." She ruffled one of the boy's hair as she led her through to the kitchen. "You want a drink or anythin'?"

"No I'm fine, thank you. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Oh, I'm Julie." She reached her hand out and shook Nicki's sweetly. "I'm guessin' you're lookin' for your Father?"

"Actually, no." Looking down shamefully she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I came to pick up my things but I'm guessin' he prolly shopped it all." She shook her head angrily. He'd sell anything to fund his habit. Even his own daughter. She knew that for fact.

"No, your stuff is still here."

"Really?" She looked up with a surprised expression.

"Yeah, that was part of the deal I guess." She leant back on the counter. Rolling her eyes when the children started fighting. They were cute kids. Dark skin with course curly hair and big eyes.


"See, your Father was a good friend of my husband's and when he was taken into the home for the elderly we got the house. Without sounding heartless, it came at a good time for us." Resting her hand on her waist, Nicki became aware of the small bump under her shirt.

"And y'all got to keep my things?"

"No, he made us promise not to lay a hand on any of your belongings. Your room is off limits, we keep it padlocked anyway so the kids can't get in a cause a riot." Reaching up on top of the cabinet she pulled a small key down. Luckily she was fairly tall and didn't need much assistance.

Her mind was reeling. Why would her Father care so much about her belongings? He didn't give two shits about her whilst she was living here let alone when she wasn't. None of this was adding up to her.

"I can show you up if you want, if not I'm guessing you know your way around anyway." Laughing lightly she placed the key in Nicki's small hand just as the youngest child, a girl, start crying. "Please excuse me."

"Yeah, sure. I can find my own way there, thanks."

The journey to her room was more daunting than she'd actually thought it would be. Every creak in the stairs was the same, the hand-railing still chipped in all the same places and there it was. Her name carved gently into the wood. She can't even remember how old she was when she did it but it was still there. Running her fingers over it softly she smiled and shook her head. Now wasn't the time to be getting all sentimental. Quickening her pace she reached the top of the stairs and came to a halt. This very hallway was the one Tyrone had followed her down, all the way from the bathroom and into her room. Swallowing hard she took the first step and began making her way to the door. It still had her name in pink wooden letters on it. They were old and dirty but they still stuck strong. Growing more and more impatient with her shaking hands she pried the padlock open after unlocking it and opened her door slowly. Everything was still exactly how she'd left it. Absolutely nothing had been touched. Her pen and paper still strewn messily across her desk. Her stuffed animals still in perfect alignment on her bed. Call her stupid but she could feel herself filling up.

Inching in slowly, she left the door open and sat gently on the edge of her bed. It was like she'd never left but in reality so much had changed. She'd grown up more than she had to, that's for sure. Obviously she was only sixteen but another human life was dependent on her now. She had no choice but to grow up. It got too much in the end. She let her guard down and cried for what felt like ages as she lay on her old bed. If it wasn't for the front door opening she would have drifted off to sleep. Slowly sitting up, she rubbed at her pouding skull and stood before pulling the duffle out from under her bed. She just wanted her essentials but found herself trying to ram all her stuffed animals in there too. She managed to make everything fit after a good fifteen minutes of searching and packing. Wiping her nose swiftly she stayed hunched over her bed as she zipped the bag violently. She could hear Julie coming and stood up straight when she finally got it shut.

"Okay, I think I'm about done. Thanks for not throwin' out my stuff." She laughed a little to herself before turning around to face a silent Julie in the doorway. Only it wasn't Julie at all. Her mouth went dry instantly as her heart began pounding. The duffle immediately falling to the floor as the shock hit her.

"Nika." There was a painful pause. "Now, there's a face I thought I'd never see again. "


*DUN, DUN, DUUUUN. Lol I love cliffhangers :D I have a feeling some of you are gonna try and guess who it is. Haha anywho, I've been struggling so bad with my fics recently so I went back and re-read some of my chapters and realised that I used to have a lot less dialogue and more descriptive paragraphs. Idk what all you guys prefer but when I'm reading I like lots of description as well as dialogue, so I'm trying to get that back into swing with my stories haha let me know how you feel anyway :) Thanks for all the previous comments! And once again, I hate asking, but I'm gonna ask for 10 comments before I post the next chapter, please. Thanks for reading and I hope it was okay :/*

Thursday, 16 May 2013

17. Nobody's Perfect - Part Two

*Thanku all so much for the comments, I know it's been a while, I'm not sure if anyone still reads this but I hope it's alright! :) Also, you may be confused when you start reading but you'll understand as you read. Annnnd I'm completely hopeless at writing mature scenes lol so I was gonna get someone else to write it but I did it all the other times and nobody seemed to say anything bad so I did it myself in this one too XD but really though, let me know if it's terrible I do not mind. If you let me know I can get someone else to write it for next time :)*

The sterile air around her was strong as she sat and waited. The room was still silent. The three of them refusing to talk in fear of upsetting another. It didn't help that Drake was sat on the other side of the room, too afraid to be seen with her. Couldn't he see that she needed reassurance right now? Sandi could, hence the reason she was sat as close to her as possible and caressing her back comfortingly.

"I'll go grab us a drink and see if there's any news." She smiled weakly and left the family waiting room. Nicki figured she must have pulled a face at Drake because as soon as she was gone he exhaled roughly and moved over to her.

"It's gon' be okay, Nic." His hand rested on her leg gently as he spoke.

"Don't." Sliding away from him she pushed his hand off her thigh before wiping at her tears. "Don't tell me it's gonna be okay when you don't even know, Drake."

The silence overcame the room again, her soft sobs relieving the quiet every so often. He didn't know what to say anymore. Honestly, his mind was still trying to come to terms with what had happened.

Earlier that evening

The way her back was arching up off of the bed had him growing more and more aroused. Every movement she made along with every noise that escaped her lips was exciting him. In all fairness it had been a while for him but that didn't make him blind to the fact that he had to be careful here, for more reasons than one. He didn't want to take advantage, so to speak. He wanted her to know that he was prepared to wait and nothing of this sort had to happen on his terms. Having said that, the scene before him was extremely tempting. Keeping his focus on her face he pulled back and moved to lay between her legs, his face level with her bare abdomen as he placed kisses on her skin.

"Aubrey." He ignored her breathy moan as her hands made their way to his head, caressing his short hair whilst he moved his kisses lower and lower. Finally reaching his desired area he pulled his lips away from from her skin, taking a short moment to let his palms wander up. Rubbing and gripping firmly at her hips he pulled another moan from her exasperated body. He was quick to extinguish her anticipation as he resumed his position, face level with her centre and her thighs resting on his shoulders. His hands locked over the top to prevent her from going anywhere. He could tell she was getting impatient, this new feeling she was experiencing was both exciting and confusing and he was taking too long marvelling at her body. Randomly throwing her back into a small arch every so often, as he breathed on her spot, was his cue to give her what her body desired.

The instant his lips made contact with her shaved area he couldn't get enough. She tasted so good. Better than any other girl he'd had, without a shadow of a doubt. Not sparing a moment to think on that he tightened his hold on her, he could feel her pulling away whilst he continued to eat her out. He could tell she was enjoying the way he licked, nipped and sucked at her sensitive flesh. The moans she was emitting were harmonious to him and the way she rolled against his tongue desperately whilst panting out his name with her eyes shut tight was an added bonus. His sole focus at this point was to guide her to climax and help her cum. Feeling her long nails raking through his curls against his scalp let him know she was growing closer to the edge.

"Oooh my God, Aubrey I-" Her own groan cut her sentence short as she moved her hips even faster against his  mouth, his tongue venturing all the right places. He was forced to loosen his grip when he felt her thighs shaking and her hands gripping more firmly at his head. "Aubrey!" Squeezing her eyes even more tightly shut she let her hips buck even faster against his face, the overwhelming pleasure expelled from her body through short, high-pitched moans as she came. Her orgasm refused to cease whilst she lay in a state of pure ecstasy, her body still convulsing with pleasure. Drake sat back and watched her ride it out, her  legs still quivering and her chest heaving.

"Damn, Nicki."

"Mmmm." She licked her lips slowly before opening her eyes and looking to him lazily. He was sat up, still resting between her raised and parted knees, her feet planted on either side of where he sat. She could feel his hands running along the length of her thighs gently.

"You taste so good." He smirked and lowered himself over her, placing a kiss between her breasts before moving up to her mouth and doing the same again. "I love you."

"Do you?"

"More than anything."

"Enough to carry me to the tub?" She slung her arms around his neck as he'd buried his face into hers, his voice muffled.

"There and back." 

"I love you too." 

Scooping her up once he'd got to his feet, he carried her to the bathroom and set her down. Shutting the door behind himself.  "Didn't you just shower?"

"I need to get clean again, thanks to you." Flashing a small smirk his way she grabbed some fresh towels as he filled the tub. In all honesty, she felt like what just happened wiped away any insecurities and doubts she had. It sounded ridiculous and maybe it was even induced from her sexual high, but that didn't change the fact that Drake's tongue game had made her feel the best she had in ages. Although she enjoyed it, she was extremely thankful that it didn't transpire into anything else. No matter how much she tried to persuade herself otherwise, she knew she wasn't ready for that. Not for a long time. Her prior experience concerning sex was far too scarring, the wounds too fresh and the memories beyond unnerving.

"That feel warm enough?" He swished his hand through the water and turned the tap off before looking up at her as she mimicked his action.

"That's perfect." She smiled down at him. "Are you getting in with me?"

"No, you enjoy it. I'mma take a shower later." Holding his hand out he helped her in before taking a seat on the floor, his back leaning against the side of the tub.

"Could you pass me the soap?" She smiled sweetly, her body covered with bubbles.

"The pink one?"


Grabbing it from the side of the sink he handed it to her an sat again, his head turned to he could watch her.

"Listen, Nicki there's somethin' I been meanin' to talk to you 'bout."

"Yeah? What is it?" She didn't look at him and continued to study the bar of soap as she smoothed it up and down her arms.

"I'm being considered for a promotion at work."

"Aubrey, that's great!" She smiled widely, showing her genuine happiness and pride for his achievement. "I mean, it's crazy that they're only now noticing how great you are. But I'm so happy for you, babe. You deserve it." 

Dropping the soap bar, she leant on the side of the tube with her arms and kissed the back of his head. But something was throwing her off. Why wasn't he excited?

"Hey, what's up? Aren't you happy?"

"Not reallly." He sighed miserably and let his head rest back. "There's a dinner I have to attend. With my partner but I-"

"You can't take me." He could hear the defeat in her voice as she sighed but at the same time she wrapped her sodden, bubbly arms around his neck lovingly. "I understand. You do what you gotta do." 

She really did mean what she was saying, but the heart-wrenching feeling rippling through her was hard to ignore, no matter how easy it was to mask it would always be there. How long would this last if she was just something for him to come home to? Not being a material part of his life was really eating at her. She wanted to be in his life, not a kind of side dish that came with it.

"You're really okay with not goin'?" He reached up and rubbed her arms softly as they still lay around his neck.

Her mind was screaming and yelling 'no' but this was his career they were talking about. Everything he'd being working towards and she desperately didn't want to stand in his way.

"Positive. I'm so proud of you." Leaning forward over the side of the bath, she kissed his temple before settling back into the tub. Drake felt awful but she seemed to be okay with it, so a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders instantly.

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me." She smiled once again and watched him stand.

"I'mma go see how Aubbie is-" Before he could finish, a knock at the door interrupted him. It was Sandi.

"Aubrey? Are you in there?"

He stared down at Nicki momentarily. "I'll go see what she wants." Giving her another small smile he left her to enjoy the bath water some more, shutting the door behind him before moving to the hallway where his Mother was stood waiting.

"Oh, there you are." She handed him a warm bottle. "Auburn's sleeping but she didn't finish her feed. I can't keep my eyes open any longer!"

"Thanks, I'll sort her when she wakes up. You go to bed, thanks for watchin' her."

"No problem." She smiled sweetly and headed up to her room after saying goodnight.

Reaching the living room, Drake smiled seeing Auburn's tiny body sleeping soundly in her bassinet. He really couldn't have been any happier, that's when he realised that having Nicki enter his life was more than a blessing. She'd given him a reason to live. Setting the almost empt bottle down he groaned realised that was the last bottle of expressed milk. Luckily she was still sleeping and Nicki could feed her once she was done bathing. He took a seat next to her and let his hand drop into the basket, stroking her small hand gently. The content smile on his face vanished quickly. She was cold to touch and he began to panic before noticing that her chest was still and her lips were a light shade of blue. She wasn't breathing.


Hearing the door open they both looked up expecting it to be Sandi. Noticing it was in fact Auburn's doctor, Drake stood up and moved away quickly leaving Nicki to stand alone, silently praying her baby was okay.

"Dr Graham?" He looked taken aback. "I thought you were on leave? What are you doing here?"

"Yeah, yeah I am." He rubbed his hands nervously. "Nicki's a friend of mine, she called me as soon as she got here." Looking back at an extremely unimpressed Nicki he cleared his throat and returned eye contact with the doctor. "So? What's the news? She's gonna be okay, right?" The doctor looked to Nicki straight away. She was beside herself with worry, it didn't take a genius to notice that.

"You're lucky you got to us when you did, Miss Maraj. Any later and your daughter would have been another crib death statistic." Taking a deep breath he put them both out of their misery. "But yes, Auburn is going to be fine. We're going to keep her in overnight to monitor her but she should be well enough to return home tomorrow."

"Can we see her?" The words only just made it out as she stammered on her tears.

"Of course but you should probably try and get some rest too, we'll fill you in with more details in the morning." He gave her an assuring smile and looked at Drake weirdly before leaving. 

"See? I told you everything would be okay." He spoke quietly and moved over to her but she flinched away tearfully.

"I can't do this anymore."


"This, Aubrey! Us! I can't do it." Sitting down quickly she let her head rest in her hands. The built up emotions finally coming to light.

"Look, you're just upset and-"

"Stop telling what I am and am not feeling!" Her raised voice silenced him immediately. "I'm not gon' carry on bein' the part of your life that you're afraid to commit to!"

"I'm not afraid to commit to you, Onika. This is my job, my career, that is at stake here." His tone of voice emphasised the seriousness of the situation. "I'm datin' an underaged ex-patient!"

"You think I don't fuckin' know that already? I'm not stupid, Drake."

"Oh, so it's Drake now?" He looked at her angrily. "And I don't think you're stupid."

"I don't have time for this. Just, go home before someone sees you with me." Shaking her head she sniffled and placed her head back in her hands.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Fine, then I'll go." She stood up and attempted to get past him but he grabbed her wrist firmly. Her breath instantly caught in her throat.

"I'ont know what else you want me to do, Nicki! Tell me! Please, 'cause I have no fuckin' clue with you!"

"I want to be part of your life, Aubrey."

"And you're not already?" His brow wrinkled with confusion, loosening his hold on her after noticing how scared she looked.

"How can I be?" Softening her voice she let more tears fall. "You hide me away all the time." He tried to interrupt but she stopped him and lay her hand on his cheek. "I don't understand how you think this is working."

"I love you."

"And I love you too, but I can't keep doin' this. It's like you're just keepin' me locked away until I'm an appropriate age for you. What are me and Aubbie supposed to do in that space of time?"

"Stay with me. I don't see what's botherin' you so much."

"I'm not about to spend the next four or five years of Auburn's life caged up in your house. I can't do it."

"It's not like that though." He paused as an almost visible lightbulb flashed up above his head. "It's about what happened tonight too, isn't it?" Her faced deadened and she removed her hand from his face, avoiding eye contact.

"I should have been there with her, then maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"You can't keep thinkin' like that. It's nobody's fault, Nic."

"That's not the point though. My baby could have died and where was I?" Her eyes flickered as more tears stung at her already streaming eyes. "Flat on my fucking back with your face between my thighs, that's where."

"So it's my fault?"

"Aubrey please, I never said that."

"It's what it sounded like to me." He stepped back and stared at her as the silence fell upon them for a while. She broke it moments later when she spoke up.

"Look, maybe this was a good thing? In a really fucked up kinda way, maybe Aubbie bein' here was for a reason." She rolled her sleeves over hands and shrugged. "I'ont think this is gonna work." Her voice had gotten quieter, the obvious sadness showing through her words as she cried.

"You don't mean that."

"Yes, I do." Crossing her arms she looked up at him again, he looked broken-hearted to say the least. "See? There you go again, tellin' me what I feel."

"I don't believe you though. You just told me you loved me, why you feel like this ain't gonna work all of a sudden?"

"Because we're just going in circles! I really do love you and I mean that from the bottom of my heart but I-"

"We can work this out. Runnin' away doesn't solve anythin', Onika." He shook his head in disbelief. "And where would you go anyway?"

"Lani's offer still stands. I can go stay with him."

Pulling away from her roughly he sat down and bounced his knee.

"I can't believe you're just gonna give up on all of this."

"I'm not giving up, Aubrey." Frowning angrily she let her hands drop by her sides. "I wanna focus on Aubbie, I want her to have everythin' I never had. I want to be a good Mother."

"And you can't do that whilst you're with me?" His eyes connected with hers, the same pain reflected. "You think stayin' with your violent brother is gonna give her what you never had?"

"Don't talk about him like that."

"Like what, Nicki? He fuckin' hit you and you're abouta stand there and defend him?!"

"Stop makin' this about somethin' else! I'm talking about you and me here. If there was any way this could work, you know I would take it." Stepping over to him she took a seat next to his hunched frame and took his hand in hers. Surprisingly he didn't pull away from her touch.

"There is a way. There's always a way."

"Like what, Aubrey?" She laughed humourlessly, partly due to the overwhelming fatigue and the fact that she felt this conversation was never going to end.

"We can move to Cananda."

"Oh my God." She sighed and rubbed her forehead frustratedly. "I thought runnin' away solved nothin'?"

"I'm bein' serious, Nic." His voice became more upbeat. His decision finally made. Fuck the promotion, right now the only important thing on his mind was salvaging this relationship. He loved them too much to let them slip away this easily. Especially over something that could be easily fixed.


"Just, stop for a minute." Grabbing her hands he moved so he was face to face with her. She looked drained, the tears still slowly trailing down her tired face. "Think about it, we'd be in a whole new place. Nobody would know us, nobody would know anything. We can start again. You, Auburn and me."

"And you really think that'll work?" Her face remained doubtful as she whispered but he caught the tiny hint of hope in in her words.

"Do you think it'll work?"

There was a painfully long silence as she pondered his suggestion. Would it really work?


*I haaaate this chapter :| But thanks for reading and I'm sorry if it dragged on :// Hope it was alright for you guys! I Don't like asking but again, since I'm back at uni I will very kindly ask for 10 comments before I continue pleaseee? I won't leave it as long next time...Or I'll try not too lol*

Sunday, 10 March 2013

16. Nobody's Perfect - Part One

Upon entering their room again he paused feeling how still the air was. The outline of her figure was emphasised by the early morning sunlight peeking through the curtains. He honestly had no idea how he was going to approach this situation, he just hoped that having Auburn out of her care for a couple hours would do her the world of good. Thinking about where he could start off he heard his Mother's words echoing in his mind. Maybe moving back to Canada wasn't such a bad idea? As he contemplated each answer for that internal question he sat down steadily on his side of the bed, it was still made up since he slept on the couch in fear of waking her.

"Where's Auburn?" The crackly whisper snatched him instantly from his thoughts as he stared at the back of her head.

"My Mom's takin' care of her. She's fine though."


"Listen, Nicki we need to talk. Could you please turn over?" Slowly doing as he asked she rolled on to her right side and looked up at him. Sandi was right, she looked exhausted. Noticing her fatigued body he changed the way he was addressing the situation and lay down face to face with her.

"You didn't come to bed last night."

"Sorry, I got back late and I didn't wanna wake you."

"It's fine." She whispered and let her eyes rest on his succulent lips as she half shrugged.

"Mom said you got a lil' upset last night? Wanna tell me what happened?"

"I wasn't upset I was havin' a meltdown or something. I couldn't stop Aubbie from crying and then I couldn't stop crying and I just...I needed a break, Aubrey." Her eyes lowered along with her voice.

"You're not havin' a meltdown. You're tired, stressed and overwhelmed and it's okay to feel like that." He smiled and pulled her chin up to look at him. "You're sixteen, still in school and you just had a baby. Nobody's expectin' you to just bounce back in a couple weeks, that'd be inhuman."

"But I'm expectin' that though."

"What do you mean?" He wrinkled his brow and studied her expression closely.

"I'm expectin' myself to spring back to normal. I need to."

"Well, you need to lose that mindset because it's gonna get you down."

"Yeah well, it's too late for that."


"I already feel like I couldn't get any worse."

"You feel down?"

"Beyond down." She sniffled. "Like, so far down nobody can help me." He inched forwards some more once he became aware of the tears threatening to fall from her bottom lids. "I can't do this, Aubrey."

"Stop it." He gripped her hands softly as he spoke. "You need to see how far you've come, how far Auburn's come and really take notice of that. That was you."

"How can I do that when all I see in Auburn is him?" She paused before continuing. "I'm a mess. Like you said, I'm a sixteen year old school girl with a baby I didn't even want." The silence following her speech made his heart sink.

"You don't mean that."

"Yes I do, Drake. She was given to me in the most barbaric way and I never wanted her. I never loved her." His mouth dropped as he moved away from her teary face. "But when I held her for the first time it was like she became the most important thing in my life." Her lip quivered as she continued to talk, it was clear she was fighting her emotions but she was losing the battle miserably. "And to know that I can't even take care of her properly is killing me."

"You can take care of her, Nicki. You just need time to adjust. Stop beatin' yourself up." He moved back in again and pulled her to him. "Auburn needs you, whether you feel like she does or not, she'll always need you."

They stayed in the same position for a couple of hours as Nicki slept off her emotional outburst. He was glad he'd booked her a post-natal check-up appointment for the afternoon, a specialist might be able to assess her more expertly than himself. Suddenly going back on to the topic of hospitals he remembered he had a huge decision to make. The dinner was fast approaching and he still didn't know whether to take his chance for promotion or whisk his young family back to Canada. He knew that if he stayed people were bound to find out about Nicki, it was inevitable but clinical lead of the cardio-thoracic ward? That would be the making of him as a doctor. A small knock at the door interrupted his thoughts as he let his Mom know she could enter.

"I'm sorry, I know I said I'd have her for a couple of hours but she's not taking the bottle. I've been trying for the last hour, she's just not having it." She looked on at them apologetically, she felt bad that she was disturbing them especially since Nicki was sleeping soundly in his arms.

"It's okay, don't worry about it." His reassuring smile made her relax a little before he nodded towards Auburn's moses basket. "Just lay her down and I'll wake Nic up in a bit."

"Here." She set the bottle on the night stand once she'd put Auburn in her bassinet. "I'll let you give it a try before you go waking her up." Smiling sweetly at him she moved back over to the door frame. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything."

"Thanks." He nodded in her direction and eased himself away from Nicki. Luckily she didn't stir from his movements. Auburn was looking healthier and healthier by the day but it seemed the reverse was happening with Nicki. She looked to be getting thinner and more run-down, which was understandable considering the circumstances but he was still worried. Pushing those thoughts to the back of his nearly overflowing mind he leant down and secured Aubbie in his arms. She was still so tiny but she was growing closer to five weeks now, the time had flown by. As he sat back on to the bed he grabbed the bottle with his free hand and popped the lid off quietly, praying that she'd accept and to his surprise she did.


"Everythin'll be fine, stop worrying." He squeezed her hand comfortingly as they sat in the waiting area. "I can't go in with you but I'll be right outside waiting, okay?"

She inhaled shakily and nodded as she spoke. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

"That's my girl." Kissing her temple sweetly he looked over her. "And then when you're done, I'm takin' you out. I have some things I need to talk to you about."

With a furrowed brow she faced him slowly. "What things?"

He didn't get chance to answer before a stocky, middle-aged woman stepped out from Dr Santoy's room calling Nicki's name. As soon as her government was yelled out Drake saw the colour drain from her fatigued face.

"Go, you'll be fine and I'll be right out here." He gave her an encouraging smile as she stood up, the nerves affecting her ability to speak and walk confidently. She had no idea why she was so afraid.

"You must be Onika?" A tall Indian looking man moved out from behind his desk once the stocky nurse had led her into the room.

"Yeah, you can call me Nicki though."

"Alright, Nicki it is." He flashed another smile and slid his glasses on before guiding her to the examination bed. "Just hop up here, Nicki. I have some paperwork to pull out first and then we'll move on to the examination, okay?"

"Sure." Her shy stance and one word answers alerted him to her fear, he would try and make he feel as comfortable as possible. Returning less than five minutes later he sat some papers on his desk and sanitised his hands before gloving up.

"First I'm just going to run through a few questions, see how things are with you and then we'll move on the physical examination." That same smile graced his face again, relaxing her only a little. She wished Drake could be in here with her. "So, you gave birth to your baby just over a month ago?"

"Yeah, Auburn." She gave him a half smile before continuing. "She's five weeks old."

"That's a nice name. How are you finding things?"

She smiled at the reference to Aubbie having a nice name. "It's been tough, yeah." She sighed sadly. "But I'm getting used to it, slowly."

"Just like any new mother. The first few weeks are very testing, Nicki."

"I thought it was just me." She looked down shyly, half relieved at what she was hearing.

"Of course not." He gave her arm a reassuring rub. " It's difficult for any new parent. Especially if there's no support being offered. How are you finding things support wise?"

"Perfect really. I couldn't have asked for anymore help and support than I've already been given."

"Well, that's great to hear." He stood up. "There's nothing else you'd like to bring up? Concerning you and Auburn?" She shook her head no. If there was anything she'd just ask Drake. "Okay, well let's get started then. I'll let you change into the gown and I'll return in a couple of minutes, just lay down on the bed once you're completely unclothed under the the gown."

She just smiled and nodded as he handed her the blue fabric. "Thank you."

The knot in her stomach felt like it doubled in size when he re-entered the room, she felt so vulnerable just laying naked under only a thin sheet of clothing.

"You ready?"


"Right, first I'm just gonna have a feel of your abdomen, check everything is okay there." He started pressing on her stomach before he'd even finished his sentence. She wanted to avoid his gaze but she needed to watch his expression to tell if everything was alright. "That all feels perfectly fine to me, you're not feeling any tenderness?"

"No, none at all."

"Good." Smiling down at her he took a step back. "Could you just sit up for me and swing your legs over the side of the bed?"


"That's great, I'm just going to pull the gown off of your shoulders for a minute so I can examine your breasts." He removed it before she even had chance to realise what he'd said and honestly she felt even worse than before, something which was extremely obvious to him. "It's alright, Nicki. There's no need to be nervous. It'll be over in a couple seconds, I promise." He tried to make her feel less exposed but that didn't change the fact that she was sat topless in front of this stranger. She winced a little when he pressed firmly on her. "That sore?"

"Just a little, is that normal?"

"Every woman is different but yes, it's completely normal." He smiled and moved on to her other breast. "You're formula feeding?"

"No, sir. They said because she was so early it'd be better for me to feed her myself." The look on his face made her worry. "Why? Should I be usin' formula?"

"No, no of course not. However you choose to feed your baby is completely up to you, Nicki. It's just quite unusual to have a teenaged Mother breast-feeding, they usually opt for formula." He took his hand away and let her pull the gown back up, which she didn't hesitate to do.


"Could you just hold your arm out for me?" She started to do as he asked but retracted her arm from him quickly.

"Wait, you're not giving me a shot are you?"

"No." He laughed at her question. "Not yet anyway, I'm checking your blood pressure. Then we'll do a blood test which, unfortunately will require a needle and then a urine test and to finish up with I'm going to examine you a little more internally, sound okay?" He figured he'd get it all out in the open in hopes that she'd relax some more but the final part of her examination was worrying her the most.

Back out in the waiting room Drake was heavily contemplating these decisions he had to make. Maybe if he just let Nicki know about it all then he could ask her what she wanted to do too? That seemed to be the best idea he'd had all day. He couldn't let his mind elaborate any further before he saw Nicki walking out of the office towards him.

"How'd it go?"

"Yeah, it was fine. I just gotta go pick up these prescriptions." She stared down at the piece of paper in her hand before looking back up at him as the headed back to the car.

"Prescriptions? For what?" He tried to look at the paper in her hand but she read them out.

"Vitamin D tablets and uhm," She stalled momentarily. "Nipple cream." She pouted whilst folding the paper over and put in her purse.

"You're vitamin D deficient?"

"Yeah, he said that's maybe why I been feelin' a lil' down and tired all the time." She glanced at him over the hood of his car before they both climbed in and picked up conversation again.

"Wait, he?"

"Mhm." She buckled in as he started the engine. "Dr Santoy's a dude."

"I asked for a female physician. I don't believe this! One thing, that's all I asked and they can't even get that right." He angrily  reversed out of the parking space and moved on to the road.

"It's fine, Drake. Why you gettin' so worked up for?"

"It's not fine, Nicki. I directly asked for another female to examine you and they went against my wishes."

"Dr Santoy was nice, he did the job and everythin's fine." she couldn't understand why he was acting so aggressively about the situation.

"I'm sorry, you're right." He ran one hand over his mouth and breathed out. "After everything you've been through I just....I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, that's all." He didn't take his eyes of the road but stole a glimpse at her when he felt a small hand wrap around his on the steering wheel.

"I was fine, Aubrey. But thank you."She grinned small at his cute and caring behaviour. Believe it or not she was still trying to get used to people treating her so kindly.

"Good, you still up for eatin' out?"

"Yes! I'm starving."


As he'd predicted he lost his nerve during their late lunch out. Just seeing her happy again after a few days of misery put him off greatly. He didn't want to ruin her happiness. They'd already picked up her prescriptions and were finally home. Nicki was pining for Auburn after only a day away from her and was more than ecstatic to be holding her again.

"So she was good?"

"She's been an angel all day." Sandi smiled warmly, not just at the sight before her but the fact that Nicki seemed to have cheered up considerably since the night before. She hoped she'd never have to see her like that again.

"You wanna feed her while I go shower, Aubrey?"

"Sure. There's bottles made up in the refrigerator already, right?"

"Should be." She frowned a little as she stood up from the couch. "If not, there'll be some in the freezer." Handing the tiny bundle over to him she admired the both of them before stepping back. "I won't be long."

"Take your time, there's no rush." He kissed her sweetly after she'd kissed Auburn's little head before she left them to it. As soon as she was out of their view the smile diminished and her thoughts began to consume her once again. Even undressing and actually climbing into the shower was a blur. Standing motionlessly under the downfall of shower water she stared off into space, thinking about the conversation she and Dr Santoy had before she left the doctor's office that afternoon.

"Do you have any other questions you might want to ask before you leave? If you do, now's the time to ask." He returned to his desk and sat down as she adjusted her top. He'd once again left the room for her to change and now they were nearing the end of the appointment.

"Actually, there was one thing I was wondering about." Twiddling nervously with the button on her top she took a seat in front of him.

"Okay, go ahead and I'll see if I can help." He leant on the table, waiting for her to speak.

"Well it's actually about something you mentioned earlier, regarding...Intimacy."

"Mkay." After removing his glasses he studied the surface of his desk for a second. "What about it?"

"I just wanted to know when it's okay to y'know? Start having sex again."

There was a short silence before he answered. "Look, Nicki I honestly don't think sexual intercourse is anything you should be worrying about, especially not now. You just gave birth and you're sixteen, technically you shouldn't even be considering it let alone have already done it."

"I know." She glanced down at her fidgety hands, not wanting to say that she was heartlessly robbed of her innocence.

"Are you feeling pressured by anyone? Maybe a boyfriend?"

"No not at all, I just wanted to know." Her quick response was in Drake's defence. She knew he'd never pressure her but she was pressuring herself.

"Well, I guess I should answer your question but I definitely do not recommend you take my answer as a guideline." He looked at her sternly, making her shift a little. "Usually anywhere from four to six weeks sexual activity can be resumed as normal." 

She nodded slowly. "Thank you Doctor."

"Any time. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No, that's it thanks." She stood up and let him show her to the door before heading back to Drake in the waiting area.

"Nic?" He knocked again before turning the bathroom handle. "Nicki?"


"I been shoutin' you for ages. You okay?" He called back and leant on the sink, listening to the water falling over her body. The loud sound soon died down as she turned it off.

"I'm fine, could you hand me my towel?"

"Sure." Leaning over to to the rack he pulled the pink towel from its holder as he heard her rinsing the last of the water from her hair. "Here."

"Oh, thanks." She smiled and stepped into it whilst he held it open for her. "Is my lotion out there?"

"Yeah, and your cream too." He answered her before following her back into their bedroom.

"Do you mind?"

"Uh, yeah of course." He chuckled shyly. "I'll see you downstairs when you're done." He went to leave but stopped when he heard her laugh a little. "What's funny?"

"You! I meant do you mind lotioning me up?"

"Oh." His eyes bugged dramatically before he came back to the moment. "Sure, if that's what you want?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you to do it." She locked eyes with him, giving him a seductive look that only attracted him to her even more. "You don't mind, do you?" She let her towel slip down as she turned around and grabbed her lotion, handing it to him over her shoulder.

"Not one bit." He let her lay down on the bed once her towel had fallen to the ground. He couldn't stop staring at her. She looked so perfect laying on front completely naked. Smiling to himself he swept her wet hair from her neck and shoulders before starting to rub the cream into her soft, glowing skin. He decided to keep things mild, staying mainly on her arms and upper back but her next request foiled that plan.

"You need to lotion all over, Drake. 'Specially my legs." Her eyes remained closed, allowing herself to enjoy him touching her the way he was. To say she was scared was a vast understatement but for fear of losing him she was prepared to do this. She just hoped he would catch on to her not so subtle hints. He continued on her shoulders, forcing her to believe he would go no further but before she managed to sit up she felt his hands graze her lower back, pushing on her delicately but firmly at the same time. Applying the lotion evenly.

"That better? Miss Demanding."

"Mmm, that feels good."

He faltered briefly as other parts of his body, not just his ears, reacted to the moan she just emitted. He gravitated lower and lower, doing exactly as she'd asked until he reached her feet. Her ass wouldn't leave his mind.

"Could you do my front too?" She flipped over without warning presenting his eyes with what he could only describe as perfection. He decided not to question her and once again filled his palms with the sweet smelling cream. Their eyes were glued to one another's as she moved back to be in the middle of the bed. Just out of habit he followed her movement and found himself resting over the top of her, his legs positioned on either side of her body.

"Pull you hair back." She complied slowly, moving it away from her face a neck as he started massaging the substance into her skin at the top of her chest. Her nerves were really chewing at her but she wasn't showing that at all. She wanted him to feel that she was ready, and it was working. The gasp that left her lips shocked even herself once she felt his hands on her breasts. The way he was caressing at her was starting to feel relaxing. It was having the opposite effect on him, however. With each stilted breath she let out he could feel himself becoming more and more aroused. He believed she thought this was an innocent gesture and so getting "excited" would be inappropriate. That belief was squandered when he felt her foot rubbing at his erection through his trousers. By this time his hands were at the top of her legs, dangerously close to her centre. Licking her lips seductively slowly she felt his hand make contact with the flesh between her legs as he moved his face down to hers, initiating a kiss. They were both completely lost in the moment.


*Okay this chapter might be super longish and confusing I'm sorry. I really struggled to get back into it :( Like, a lot!! But pleeeaaase if you're confused about anything just ask me in your comment and keep checking back to see if I've replied to you ^_^ Thanks SOOO much for all the previous comments :) And I really hope this was alright for you all. Also since I'm back at uni now, I'll so kindly ask for ten comments before I post again, thanku! ^_^*