19. Back To Bottling

*Ughh this chapter was gonna be the death of me! I struggled so bad to write it! :( Anyway, I hope it's alright even though it's a mess :/ I'm gonna try and post on SMF too but I hate that one so, I might not lol I'll see. THANKU to those who commented on Sacrifice and Frozen the other day! I really appreciate it! :)*

Just like that, all the memories started flooding back into her head. The pain, the fear and the damage this man had inflicted upon her were still very much present and that became even more evident to her when she couldn't gather herself quickly enough to form a full sentence. She felt paralysed for a good minute or so as he stared at her. That sick look still plastered on his face. The same look he had the night he stole her innocence. Slowly recovering from the initial shock she managed to stutter her words out.

"You?" She felt her mouth gape as the tears made yet another unwanted appearance. "You live here?"

"Yeah, I sure do. Once your old man was too fucked up to take care of himself anymore he handed over the keys. The place is as good as ours." He smiled that smarmy smile and motioned to shut the door.

"Don't!" Grabbing at the bags she swiped the tears away and moved towards the door quickly. "You really think I'm abouta spend another second in the same fucking room as you?" She shook her head angrily. "Move outta my way, Tyrone."

"Hey, calm down. What's the rush, Nika?" Reaching his hand out he tried to touch her but she backed away quickly. "I just wanna talk."

"There is nothing to talk about, now move outta my way."

He was about to object again but as soon as his mouth went to move the door pushed open. Saved by Julie.

"What's goin' on up here? I could hear y'all yellin' from downstairs." Her slightly irked complexion was extremely visible as she switched her focus between her on-edge husband and an extremely distraught Nicki.

"It's nothin', baby." He stepped back and rested by her side but she didn't look very convinced. "Onika's just a lil' upset, what with everythin' that's happened to her old man and all that. Ain't that right, Nic?"

She almost choked on a response, her body frozen with fear. "Y-yeah. There's a lot of memories here, that's all."

"Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't even think about that. You okay?"

"She's fine." His voice beat her to it as he gave her a threatening look. She knew exactly what it meant. All she had to do was say the word and she could possibly end his marriage. There was no telling Julie would believe her though and as satisfying as it would be to shatter his life like he had hers, she just couldn't do that to Julie and especially not to his kids.

That's when it hit her like a train. His kids.

"Well, you're welcome to join us for dinner if you want? We got plenty goin' 'round." She smiled sweetly and rested into Tyrone's side. Her hand laying on her small rounded bump.

"Thanks but I have to get goin'. I've already been here longer than I'd planned." Hoisting the bags up over her shoulder she tried to keep her eyes low and away from his gaze but wasn't letting up though. Their attention was soon snatched in the direction of the youngest child as she wandered into the room.

"Mommy, I'm hungry."

"I know, we're gonna eat soon." Lifting her up, Julie let her settle on her hip and proceeded to wipe the mess from her tiny face. Tyrone however, was too busy studying Nicki. Her focus was glued to the child, she had the same hair colour and skin complexion as Auburn. Maybe that's what Auburn would look like when she got older? Her mind was just swimming with thoughts. So many that she hadn't even realised what she must have looked like at that moment. It was too late though, Tyrone already knew something was up.

"Well, I'm gon' get back to cooking. It was nice meetin' you Nicki." She smiled. "Ty, can you show her out when she's done?"

"There's really no need, I know the way." She assured.

"It's no problem, I gotta head back out to my truck anyhow." He folded his lips and waited until the sound of Julie's feet hitting the stairs could be heard. There was silence. Nicki'd had enough, she just wanted to be on her own so she could comfortably let the tears fall but as soon as she made a move for the door he blocked the way again, grabbing her wrist firmly.

"She's pretty ain't she?" She was too afraid to answer. "You don' think so?"

"Yes, you have a beautiful wife." Curling her lip, she felt her tears still travelling down her cheeks. "Please, just let me leave? I did what you wanted, I kept my mouth shut." Never once making eye contact she kept her eyes fixed on the opening in the door, ready to make her hasty exit.

"I wasn't talkin' 'bout Jules. I was talkin' 'bout my baby girl."

There was a quiet second as she collected herself to answer. "Yeah. She's cute."

"You looked like you recognised her, the way you was starin' at her. Or maybe she reminds you of someone? Is that what it is, Nicki?"

"It's none of those, now can I please just leave?!" She shoved him as hard as she could in an attempt to get through the doorway but he wouldn't allow it. Hardening his grip on her wrist he moved to grab her other one and pinned her to the wall forcefully.

"There isn't somethin' you wanna tell me before you leave, Nika?" His hushed words brushed past her ear. Just feeling his hands on her body again was making her skin crawl.

"Please." She cried. "I just wanna go home."

"Tyrone!" Julie's voice sang out faintly from downstairs. His hand immediately covered Nicki's mouth. "Would you come down here an deal with your damn boys?!"

Watching him intently she seized the opportunity to make a move whilst he was distracted, detangling herself from his strong grasp she snatched the door open and moved swiftly down the steps. She ignored the children arguing at the bottom of the stairs as she raced out of the house. She felt like she'd never ran so fast in her life.



Back in the safety of Drake's house he was facing some of his own troubles. The main one being an unsettled Auburn as she continued to cry loudly in his arms.

"C'mon Aubbie." He rocked her gently as he cooed. She'd been crying for the last half hour and he was hoping Nicki would have been back by now. It was almost 4pm and she was still out. "You can't be hungry, I just fed you." He frowned worriedly and sat down, letting her rest in his arms and lap. He'd fed her, changed her and tried to get her to sleep but she was still screaming. He had no idea what to do. On top of that worry, Nicki hadn't been answering his calls and he was starting to get really concerned. Anything could've happened to her. He was trying not to think too much on it but the ideas definitely wouldn't let his mind rest. Only adding to the stress, he'd had an abundance of missed calls from Ashley too. What she wanted he had no idea but he'd soon find out when he headed into work later on. He was absolutely dreading it.


***


Somehow she had been managing to ignore the biting cold as it chewed into the bare skin on her arms. She hadn't got very far, in fact she was slumped against SB's front yard fence crying silently as she held the bags close to her. Just seeing his face again was enough to throw her back into the turmoil she'd experienced nearly a year ago but to actually  have his hands on her once more was almost unbearable. She felt dirty even though he hadn't taken advantage of her this time, any contact with him made her feel violated. Perhaps it was just the memories that never ceased to leave her mind.

Rubbing her arms in the cold she started fretting as soon as she saw the marks he'd left on her skin. At the time it didn't even feel like he'd grabbed her that hard. Obviously it was hard enough to have left such harsh marks. She had no idea what Aubrey would say if he saw these. Shaking her head miserably she let her mind wander to the revelation she'd just become aware of inside that house. Those kids were Auburn's family. That man was her Father. None of them would ever meet her and for some strange reason it was breaking her heart. Although Tyrone was undoubtedly a sick and twisted monster, his family life seemed so perfect. Not that hers wasn't, or at least not so much anymore but she feared Auburn would never have what those kids had. The playful sibling banter, the uncomplicated back story. And on top of that, she was petrified that the way she viewed Auburn would never change. Obviously she loved her with all her heart but the more she she was going to grow the more she was going to resemble Tyrone. What if her daughter's appearance would forever remind her of these dark times? This was something she knew she should have spoken about to Drake but she was far too scared of what he might think. Her tears continued to roll down her cheeks until SB's voice once again pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Nicki? You okay?" His face was full of absolute concern as she quickly wiped at her tears.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She nodded as she got to her feet cautiously. "Just a lil' overwhelmed I guess."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Trying to smile as best she could she folded her lips in a desperate bid to stop the tears but they just wouldn't leave her alone. She was sick and tired of crying all the time. That was another reason why she was looking forward to leaving this place. She felt that maybe once she was settled in Canada she could start afresh and be happy because soon enough she'd have no tears left to shed. She had only just managed to kind of control her sobs when he pulled her into a hug, which was the worst thing to do when she was crying because it just made her cry even harder.

"C'mon, tell me where you live. I'mma take you home."

He didn't question her anymore and led her to his truck, he was quite surprised that she hadn't argued back and let her stubbornness come through but it was clear to him that something had happened in that house. Shutting her door once she was strapped in, he turned around and stared up at her old home. There was a figure stood in the window watching them intently as he started moving around to his side of the car. He always thought that dude was a tad on the creepy side.


Thankfully she was able to compose herself on the drive home, going back to Drake in such a state would surely have him worried. But there was just so much going on in her head, it felt like it was going to explode. She couldn't believe that in the space of only a few hours her previously happy and relaxed state was now wrought with all this pain and sadness. Tyrone and Aubbie were laying heavy on her mind. So was her Father. Why would he care so much about her belongings? It didn't make any kind of sense to her frazzled brain and she didn't get chance to come up with an answer before they slowly came to a stop.

"Yo, you live here?" SB broke the silence, his eyes popping when he looked up at the house. It wasn't anything super special but in comparison to what she used to live in, it was quite spectacular.

"Yeah." She folded her lips and breathed in deeply. "Thanks for the ride home, I was really dreadin' that subway journey." Smiling tiredly she went to grab the door handle but he stopped her.

"Wait, can we exchange numbers? It'd be good to keep in touch." The look on her face made his heart warm up a little. He knew something was definitely going on with her. Ever since she disappeared all those months ago he'd had his concerns. She seemed like she really needed a friend and he was more than happy to retake that position, he was worried about her. The whole car ride was silent aside from her sniffling and this certainly wasn't the same Nicki he remembered knowing.

"Oh." She smiled. "Sure, I'd like that." They swapped digits before he got out and opened her door for her. Honestly, it would be good for her to have a friend to talk to. She'd lost touch with everybody that was in her life. The only person she ever spoke to anymore was Drake.

"Take care of yourself, Nic. You ever need anythin', you know you can call me."

"Thanks, Safaraee." She clutched at the bags again and headed up to the door, turning to wave when she heard him pulling away from the curb.

The house was quiet is what first came to mind. She'd half-expected to hear the TV playing or Aubbie crying but the air was still. Shutting the door behind her she started making her way up to their room. Her pained face soon relaxed when she lay eyes on the pair of them sleeping soundly. He'd obviously nodded off unintentionally since Aubbie was snoozing on his chest, his hand almost covered her whole back as he held her there. She smiled when she noticed he still had the soiled burping cloth slung over his shoulder.

Dropping the bags quietly she removed the stained material from him and grabbed a few other things that needed to be washed, dumping them into the clothes hamper once she was in the bathroom. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and sighed. Dishevelled wasn't even the word and the shower was calling her, she'd been desperate to wash away his touch since she left that place. Growing frustrated with the day's events she checked on Drake and Aubbie, placing her gently in her moses basket before locking herself away. Scrubbing violently at her skin in the privacy of the shower. She'd deal with this the same way she dealt with her first encounter with him. Burying it deep down inside and leaving it there to fester.

***

"Why didn't you wake me when you got back?" He was rushing around frantically. He must have needed the rest but now he was going to be late into work.

"Because." She reasoned as she stayed sat on the bed. "You looked cute, I didn't wanna wake you guys."

"I ain't even get time to cook for you or nothin'." Pulling the shirt together he started buttoning it before grabbing his watch and putting it on.

"I can do that, I'll have somethin' ready for when you get home."

"You're too good to me." He grinned and kissed her head on the way back around the bed. "So, how'd you go today?"

"Fine, I got everythin' I needed." Changing the subject she nodded towards the bags on the floor, careful not to wake Auburn in her arms.

"Good job." He smiled before looking more inquisitive. "You were gone a while, is that all you managed to pick up?"

"Yeah, I bumped into my neighbour SB. We we're talkin' for a lil' bit."

"So you ain't see your Dad I take it?"

She shook her head. "He was out. SB gave me the spare and I let myself in."

"You picked a good time to visit then." Throwing his suit jacket on he turned to face her. "I'm sorry I can't stop and talk a little longer, we'll talk when I get home. I promise." He leant down and kissed her softly before pulling away and smoothing his hand over Aubbie's head. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck." She smiled sweetly. "You'll be fine." He let out a quick breath before heading downstairs. The minute he disappeared her smile did too. The sooner they got to Canada the sooner she could start living her life without all these chains and memories weighing her down. There was one thing she wanted to do before they left though and what better time then the present?

***

"Whatever it is you have to say, I'm not interested so you can stop calling me." He slammed his work locker shut and turned to stare at her bemused face.

"Obviously there's a little part of you that is curious though." She took a step closer to his tensed and angry body. "Otherwise, why would you have agreed to meet?"

"I only agreed to this so I could get you off my back, Ashley."

"That's not true." She smirked. "That last message I sent you caught your attention, didn't it?"

"Why should I believe what you say? Nothin' but bullshit ever passes your mouth." He shook his head. "You always were a liar and you always will be."

"I ain't lyin' this time, Aubrey. I have the notes to prove it."

His face relaxed with shock. "If that's the case then let me see 'em."

"What, you mean just hand them over to you?" She smiled. "I can't do that, it'd be a conflict of interest. You're too involved with her." She popped her gum infamously. "Besides, it's such a complex case it's goin' higher."

"Complex case?"

"Mhmm, terrible stuff." She widened her eyes and flicked through the papers in her hand.

"How'd you even find her missing notes? We searched high and low for them."

"I pulled a few strings, called a few people. It actually wasn't that hard." Her eyes connected with his again. "I hope you're not too attached already."

"Give me the goddamn notes!" He made a reach for them but she snatched them back.

"Always did have a bit of a temper, didn't you Aubrey?"

"I'm not playin' around anymore, Ashley! If there's somethin' wrong with her I need to know!"

"And you will." Her voice was still annoyingly calm in contrast to his yells. "All in due time."

"The fuck is that s'posed to mean?" His brows only emphasised his anger.

"Meet me at the bar tonight and I'll give you the notes."

"This is fuckin' ridiculous." He laughed without finding anything funny and ran his hand over his face. He was desperate and his frustrated sigh showed it. "The bar downstairs?"

"No, that's the work bar. I wanna go somewhere a lil' more private." She could tell he was becoming irate.

"You've got five minutes of my time, that's it." He growled. "And you better bring those notes too."

"Great I'm done for the night now, so pick me up when your shift is over." Sliding past him she smiled and made her way around the corner as if nothing had happened. The amount of hate he harboured towards her was unreal, this girl was his best-friend once upon a time. What the hell happened?

Ever since Nicki was admitted into hospital the first time he met her, they'd had a huge difficulty tracing her notes. She'd been treated in so many hospitals he just figured they were lost in the system. That didn't stop him from worrying though, all her medical history would be in those notes. It seemed odd but by having them he felt he would have a better understanding of her background and the way Ashley was putting it, there was a possibility something important had cropped up in her records.

For now though, he had to remain focused for his shift and the dreaded meeting he had to face afterwards. He was handing his resignation in with two weeks notice. Then they'd be free to start their new life in Canada, away from all this bullshit.


...


*I reeaally hope this was okay for you guys, I'm struggling so bad with this story at the moment :( I feel like this chapter was just all thrown together :/ Anyway, thanks so much to those who commented on the previous chapter :) This would have ended agessss ago if it wasn't for you!*